lame day.

please do this now - pour yourself a little bowl of frozen blueberries, sprinkle dark cocoa powder on top, stir, and SAVOR, preferably with graham crackers.
ok, now we can talk :)
i know i promised you a thrilling post yesterday about insulin resistance, but today has been such a whirlwind...
it never happened. my bad.

honestly, i just had an awful day today.... blah. i have no excuses, but i'm gonna complain anyway.
- i had a rough morning at the gym (me = 0, fibro pain = 1,00000000). for the last few weeks or so, even on my worse fibro days, the gym has been my safe haven. for an hour or two every morning, i wasn't a sick kid, i wasn't a college dropout, i wasn't someone with chronic pain... i was just rebekah. baggage/emotion/pain was checked at the door. but for the last week or so, i haven't been able to shake the pain off. i've done the workouts, but they haven't been easy.
- at 11am, i went to tea with a friend's grandma from church. she's known me for years, and said she had some thoughts she wanted to share with me about challenging situations. while the things she said were true, the emotions they invoked were a little too raw for comfort. her intentions were to help me see the bigger picture through my struggles, but talking about my future is something that's been scary for me recently... so i cried. a lot.
- i apparently was abducted by aliens today, because i left the house without eating lunch OR bringing food... i know, right?!?!?!? so needless to say, at 2pm when i FINALLY left teatime, i was deliriously hungry. so hungry, in fact, that i stopped into 7-eleven on my way to the other side of town to drop off a shirt for my old roomie. i hadn't been in there since i was in high school, and i was actually pleasantly surprised at the options. i mean, they're no WaWa, but they had a few things that grow on trees instead of just factory creations.
as i was trying to pick up some much needed munchies, this guy kept trying to strike up a conversation about how my car has a dent in it, and for A LOWWWW LOWWWW SUM he would pop it out for me. at my convenience. in the parking lot. because that's legit and all. i was NOT impressed, and still hungry. eff off casanova. i ended up grabbing carrots, celery, and a little serving of cashews, which was awful because i've doing so well on my nut-free test. well, sure enough, i had a KILLER stomachache after this, so maybe i've narrowed the culprit down?!?!
- i finally made it to the other side of town to drop off the shirt, and traffic on the way back was RIDICULOUS. at 2pm! totally unexpected. and on my way home i was supposed to stop and see an old friend at work, but his shift got pushed back and forgot to tell me, so i drove there for nothing.
- at that point, i was just frazzled. i pushed WAYYY too hard... my nerves were like pins and needles for a long time, and i'm still hurtin pretty bad from the stress. i got home and promptly cried on mom's shoulders. she listened, cried too, then we made lots of food :) life was good then.


ok, ranting session over. thanks for listening... and i promise i will get to work on that insulin post. it's a topic near and dear to my heart, so i can't wait to chat about it with you guys.

hope everyone's tuesday was smoother sailing than mine!
anyone else have days like this?
 -r