Kickin’ in the kitchin’.

hey friends! (and happy tuesday, jess!)

thanks so much for your sweet words about my insomnia. i really appreciated all those who chimed in with personal experiences, but i wish you guys didn't struggle too! it breaks my heart that insomnia is so common these days, ya know?

by the way, if you're interested in extra better sleep tips, check out the expert advice in the comments from tatianna, both melissas, peace be me (what is your first name?), and bitt.

but now that we're all awake, how about a picture/recipe/life update, shall we? i finally found the darn escapist camera cord, so no more excuses for me. in no particular order, here are some recent happenings:

first day of school. look out VCU.

pinto bean and plantain stew, sans parsnip chips

this soup is crazy good! i didn't make the chips because i'm poor and parsnips are like gold around here, but hello - a little recognition for cooking with a plantain!!! they were on sale for 54 cents at waldirtmart, so one magically jumped into my cart somehow.

but no, your eyes don't deceive you - i did finally made a recipe from Veganomicon, one of the cookbooks i got for my birthday. i was super excited about this book specifically because i see jessica, matt, the other jess, the other other jess (haha ok enough), and many others refer to it as "the vegan bible" and cook from it fairly regularly. good enough for me!

... honestly? i hate to say this, but i was a tiny bit disappointed. for someone who doesn't see the appeal in "mock meat" or soy meat substitutes, i wasn't thrilled to see a good portion of the book devoted to seitan, tofu, and bean cutlets.

don't get me wrong - certainly all those things have their place in the freezer section, and if you dig 'em, it's totally cool! i'm just not a fan of eating food that mimics other food... if i wanted meat, i would eat it, ya know? i'm already cool with soybeans and black beans, so i don't feel the need to "transform" them into a substitute. 

i like food that just is what it is. no imitations. but that's just my deal, yo.

spicy coconut curry squash soup

after i just ragged on their cookbook full of homemade tofurkey, i gotta give the ladies at the Post Punk Kitchen a shoutout... those girls can make some SOUP, man. hopefully that makes up for it?

i modified this recipe because, well, i had squash and not sweet potatoes, and can't leave well enough alone!

i made guac. alton brown's guac. no explanation needed.

and what's not pictured? in the last week or so, i've made gluten-free millet and flax crackers (like sami's bakery, but waaay cheaper), mom and i tag-teamed some delicious veggie bean chili, then some enchiladas (with beef for my brother, and without for us lettuce heads), various kitchen sink salads, gluten-free orange sweet potato muffins, quinoa coconut "rice pudding," homemade peanut butter and tahini, chocolate coconut cherry laraballs, pesto, and two kinds of hummus: roasted red pepper and jalepeno cilantro.

um, yeah. i've been busy. if you want details on how to recreate anything i made, comment or shoot me an email! mostly i just throw stuff in the pot and cook, but i'd be more than happy to share my "recipes" with you guys!

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to continue on in this insanely random post, remember how i finally got around to a gluten-free trial? yes? well houston, we have a problem.

i gave it a month gluten-free before i "tested" my stomach again with my old foods, and let's just say that yes... it's clear that the remainder of my ibs issues are from gluten.

i won't die if i eat it (like when eating out), but for what i can control, i'm sticking with eating gluten-free. practically, it just means i avoid sandwiches and wheat pasta (almost everything in our kitchen is safe because of my sister), which is cool because i'm not a huge fan of those foods anyway. we have plenty of gluten-free bread should i get the urge for a sandwich, but that's pretty rare.

it's awesome though because i thought i was doomed to being bloated all my life, and hooray - no more! if you struggle with this, you might want to test for a gluten-intolerance... why not? and head's up you guys, unless i mention otherwise, the recipes i post from here on out will be gluten-free.

phew. you guys have been along for quite an interesting journey with me, no? now i leave you with the most hilarious food face i've seen in a while:

mom's blueberry goat cheese english muffin. oh snap, he has a moustache!

pet peeve.

today's what the kale? moment:

"hey girl, i can't talk now, i'm on the way to the gym to earn my dinner. gotta burn some calories before i can eat!"

here's a fact:

if you're a human, you deserve food.

you kinda need it to live.

shocking, i know, but please, please, please just trust me on this.

do you ever hear disordered thoughts like this?
are you oblivious?
-rebekah

to whom it may concern...

sweet friends - don't forget to enter my super-easy-to-win giveaway to CSN Stores! it's a free $45, for cryin' out loud! comment before midnight on september 15th, and good luck!

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dear anonymous -

first of all, i wish you had left your name when you commented. this blog is a place where we embrace ourselves, and i don't like it when anyone feels they can't be who they are. not cool. but that's neither here nore there.

secondly, i want to thank you. no, seriously! you brought to mind an issue i've been struggling with, an important lesson that by god's grace i've accepted over the last year or two: the importance of not judging others. 

when you commented on my weight, did you realize how that would crush me? although i am proud of who i am, i'm still human and vulnerable to criticism. did you stop and think about that before you pressed submit?

you mentioned how i looked "before i lost of bunch of weight..." did you know i lost that weight because i was bedridden? that i slept 20 hours a day and just got up to pee? that i had to call my mom to carry me down the stairs? i didn't crash-diet, i was in a medicated coma. not shockingly, food wasn't too appealing. it took energy, and i didn't have any. simple as that.

if you had been in contact with me over the last few years, you would have know that i've desperately struggled with my body. praise God that improving body image is now one of my biggest passions. and i still struggle with eating enough and exercising to this day. i still am so grateful for each mile i can walk, because there was a time i couldn't walk any. did you know that?

all questions aside, that's not what i'm thanking you for. i appreciate your comment because it brought to light a realization i've had since i got sick that's worth mentioning: who am i to judge anyone because of their body?

source.

when i see someone walking down the street, the only thing i know about them is their appearance. how on earth do i think i have any business commenting on what they look like, when i don't know them? i hate to admit i used to gossip mercilessly about anyone i deemed too fat, dressed too slutty, or wore too much makeup.

the second i opened my smart mouth, all i accomplished was showering my pride, arrogance, and hate on everyone around me. i thought i was better than this person because in my mind, i wasn't "too" anything (although i did hate my own body, but that's another story). how it shames me to even admit that! sadly, it took me years before i could face my own shortcomings, realize God is the only true Judge, and in turn accept we all struggle, we all have flaws, and we all have a story behind them.

that critically obese person at the store? they are an incredible gift of God. who knows what they are struggling with in their own life? people have no more or less worth because of their weight, and if i truly cared about their health, i would pray for their lives and heart instead of mocking their body. that trashy-looking girl at the movies? who knows what she's been through? what does she deal with on a daily basis that i've only seen in movies? if i really cared, i would hug her instead of condemn her. that girl whose bones jut out from her skin? after the weight struggles i've gone through, if anyone loves this girl, it should be me. how dare i make her as the butt of my jokes, when i've been that girl! i could be the one voice she needs to keep believing there's hope in life, and each time i criticize her, i confirm her worst fears.

there's been a huge focus on self-love over the last few weeks, and i'm thrilled! before you can help others, you certainly must deal with yourself.

but sometimes, i think it's easy to forget the power in our words. it's not just about fat-talk, although that's a pretty big deal. more than that, though, we need to deal with what doesn't happen when we judge - love. when we choose to criticize someone, not only do we reenforce our own negativity, but we sever any chance we had to positively impact that person, and that might have been the only kind word they got for quite some time. 

next time we're tempted to judge, let's own up to the fact it probably comes from our own insecurities. how about we stop and consider what they're going through first, or compliment them instead? we have millions of opportunities to impact lives for the better - why not take them?

so anonymous, thanks for bringing that up, and thanks for reconfirming what i already knew to be true - because i am wonderfully made, i treat my body right. because i treat my body right, i accept what i see in the mirror. because i accept what i see, what you see doesn't threaten me. i know who i am and the victory that my life is. do you, anonymous?

are you aware of how your words impact others?

what can we do to build others up instead of tear them apart?

- rebekah

my life in food.

good morning friends!

for those of you who started back at school yesterday, how was it?!? i start thursday, and am nervous as junk... it's been a while since i was in school!

source.

just wanted to give you guys a little transparency on my journey through food. i had been toying with the idea of posting on why i went animal-free for a few weeks now, but didn't. honestly, i was afraid to.

diet is so personal, especially when ethics are involved. i didn't, and still don't, want anyone to feel like i am judging them for whatever they eat, be it french fries, cake, lettuce, meat, or green smoothies. i don't see you as a better or worse human being because of what you eat.

i feel accountable for how my actions effect others and responsible for my own health, so i took my lifestyle in my own hands. this was my choice, and doesn't mean i know everything or think i am the ultimate authority. my only goal is to help someone else through my story... just so we're clear, ok?

this is an email i wrote to the beautiful ashley of nourishing the soul in response to learning patience through my food journey. enjoy!

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hey beautiful - thanks for your comment! so glad you decided to stop by :)
about going vegan - it's really been an interesting evolution for me. i grew up a normal american teenager - chips, hot dogs, mac n cheese, etc. it wasn't until i watched my mom battle with breast cancer that i started to realize my lifestyle DOES effect me!

since then, i haven't really stopped researching health, nutrition, and wellness. i am completely convinced of the ties between what we consume and our health. health is more than food, but food is a HUGE factor, for sure. i started to struggle with what i now know is fibromyalgia since late 2006, and during that struggle for answers, i started to realize my food not only effects my health for the long term, but how i live/feel day to day.

i've since realized that i could ease many of my fibro symptoms by changing my diet - praise god! at the same time, i began to uncover many things about the animal-product industry i wasn't thrilled about, to say the least. i spent a lot of time (about 2 years) researching the industry because i knew if i changed something so dramatic, it would need to be for a DARN good reason. i'm an all or nothing sorta chick, i guess. i went vegetarian in march of '10.

after going vegetarian, i slipped into the habit of getting most of my calories from cheese and greek yogurt... not a terrible habit unless you LIVE on them as i did at almost every meal. i realized i was getting more animal products eating vegetarian than i was as an omnivore! and i don't know about you, but i don't dig hormones and antibiotics in my chow. i also started to see more exaggerated symptoms of issues i was only mildly concerned about when i was eating meat - eggs seemed to make me queasy, and dairy always left me a " brain fog." i started to pay more attention to what i ate, getting more in tune with my body, and realized i felt much better eating mostly plants - veggies, lots of fruits, some grains, etc.

once again, i started reading. i decided to inform myself with books/medical studies on the dairy industry, and everything seemed to fall into place. after what i had discovered, i couldn't eat animal products again, for myself or for the world we live in. i mourned the "loss" of my beloved greek yogurt, sure, but after a few days of feeling better, i knew it would never be worth it again... i mean, for the first time in years, i had found something i could ACTUALLY HELP my health with! cheesy, yes, but i was frustrated to tears almost daily for years.

my transition to veganism was health-driven FIRST, and backed up by my complete disdain for the dollar-driven practices exercised by the poultry/dairy/egg industry. i am not a meat-hating, tree-hugging, natural born animal-lover, but i absolutely detest abuse, torture, and unnecessary displays of aggression (towards humans or otherwise), so i felt like it was a no-brainer.

i've had my share of struggles along the way, sure. there are many facets of health, and sorting through all the trendy diets has been challenging. i've dabbled a bit with the raw foods and macro movements, but for the most part, i just eat simple, natural foods and don't label myself. i don't think there's anything shocking that an orange is healthy - so i eat it! i don't care if you call it raw, magic, superfood, or crazy... it's just food to me. god made it, i eat it. awesome.

since my transition, i am managing my fibromyalgia pain better than i could have ever imagined. it's still a daily struggle for sure, but i'm seeing pain i've lived with for years finally show a sign of change! i also have found a few surprises along the way... better skin and nails? way fewer headaches? YES PLEASE! i won't say it's effortless, but when something is so crucial to your health and others, it's an easy decision. i also am realizing how ignorant i am about the products i mindlessly use - i mean, windex is tested in rabbits eyes? seriously? how is that completely necessary to see if it cleans windows?

i am not the gold standard of diet, and i don't know all the answers. i won't tell anyone what to do or judge them, but i would encourage everyone to at least research what they're eating and examine their own diets - are they treating their bodies the way they deserve to be treated? if i had been all along, who knows how my health would have looked, or what i would or wouldn't be dealing with right now. all i can say is use your brains, and remember: you are worth the best, and what you do effects yourself and others!

thanks for asking, girl. i hope this helps shed a bit of light into my crazy life! :) if you have any more questions, criticisms, or whatever, please feel free to email me!
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thanks for letting me share my story! i hope this brings some clarity to my choices concerning food. i've never come out and addressed it head on, but i don't want someone to misconstrue my intentions, either, so it was time.

let me be clear: this blog is not become a peta-thumping, meat-hating, veggie-ranting diary. i am who i am for many reasons, and my decisions at mealtime don't define all that i am. i would love to speak with anyone who wants to take charge of their own health, but i will never pester or badger anyone into changing their lives. my desire is to get you to think about your decisions (food, emotional, and otherwise), not guilt-trip you by eating out of fear.

some huge factors in my decision? earthlings, thrive, the athlete's plate, eating animals, the end of overeating, in defense of food, the china study, the kind diet, countless blogs (both pro- and anti-vegan), scientific research databases, and my own blood work, improving health, stomach, and taste buds!

all that said, mental health and emotional stability always come first. always. veganism is not a quick weight loss program (i've gained!), or a cute, trendy diet: it's a life-altering change! if you are struggling with emotional eating, fear foods, or self-abuse, please don't take on a food challenge just yet. take care of your heart first, ok? doing that will set you up for an amazing life, not just an amazing diet. you are more than what you eat!

also, veganism is NOT a magic bullet, or a cure-all of diseases. i've changed many things about my diet that aren't related to veganism, and am still a work in progress! i don't feel well eating sugar, MSG, fried foods, and am testing how i respond to gluten... so it's not like animals are evil: it's a process to sort through how food responds to YOUR body! and food doesn't heal all things: i still have fibro, i still struggle with body-image, i still have occasional stomach issues, and i still am HUMAN. food isn't magic, we just need to provide our bodies with the right things so food can do it's job: fuel us!

i believe two things: i eat as healthfully as possible because i deserve it, and i absolutely despise greed-based factory farming practices. beyond that, the rest is trial and error, my friends! let's eat up for our health :)

p.s. - if you haven't been over to ashley's blog, please do so! she is an honest, hilarious genius of a girl.

thoughts? questions? disagree? i'd love to hear all opinions, veg-head and omnis alike!
-rebekah

beach recap, and no HLS for me.

i'm back home!

it seems almost weird that i'm excited to be back from the beach, but there is something so restful about familiar surroundings/the daily grind.

aaaaaaaand i know i said i had pictures, but as i was loading them, my piece of crap lovely computer froze, crashed, and deleted them. all of them.

sweet, IBM. i appreciate it.

anyways, the beach was beautiful (i promise!), and i had a wonderful time relaxing and being lazy with my family. there was plenty of veggie pizza, walks on the beach, and crazy-long naps... what more could you ask for in a vacation?

moving on.

just wanted to challenge you guys with my opinion on the Healthy Living Summit.

as a little disclaimer: i have no ill feelings towards the bloggers who attended, sponsored, or spoke in chicago. live and let live, you know? i just haven't heard anyone voice this side of the issue, so i'm steppin' up!

if you're a bit lost, the HLS is basically a convention for food bloggers. you attend lectures on photography, weight lifting, and ethical eating, run with fellow foodies, and of course, eat good meals!

i think this is wonderful, really. i have no problems with the idea of it. so why didn't i want to go, then?

because food blogging does not equal healthy living.

i'm sure that all the bloggers who attended would consider themselves "healthy," and they very well may be - i won't judge them. but what bugs me is the attitude we all seem to have acquired of "hey, i blog daily pictures of my oatmeal! how can i not be the example of health?"

but let's get real... since when does taking a picture of your food mean you're healthy?

honestly, food blogging is a hobby. it's not an exclusive club, a clique, or a badge of honor. it's something we do for fun... like building model airplanes, yodeling, or playing checkers.

can it be entertaining (like yodeling)? YES! but does it mean you're healthy? NO!

i understand the point of the HLS is to promote healthy blogging, and that's awesome! but the focus still is still on blogging...  and blogging is a hobby. it's a blogging conference.

i guess my point is - if you didn't go, it doesn't mean you aren't healthy enough, good enough, or cool enough. food pictures don't make you a superhero. let's adjust our focus on food blogging, ok?

for the love of sweet potato fries, please don't take "health" at face value.

if anything claims to be "healthy," be it a conference, a loaf of bread, or a diet book, do yourself a favor and ask "WHAT IS IT MADE OF??? "

people's definition of health varies... and businesses will do anything to convince you their products are good for you. it's their ONLY mission to trick you so they make cash.

i urge you to always dig deeper. look past the marketing, labels, and trends, and investigate things to the core. is it healthy? please find out for yourself.

(i'm not naming names, but consider looking up the ingredients in the sponsor's products... HFCS, dough conditioners, tons of saturated fat, and sodium overload is not exactly health food.)

it's shameful how often people are lead astray when all they want is to be healthier! i'm not telling you the HLS is bad because i didn't go - i'm just asking you, next time something like this pops up, stop and think about what it REALLY is about... health, or trendy hobby/false marketing?

your thoughts?
did you go?
-rebekah

just say no.

i'm pretty wound up, so if i seem tense... i am!

last night i made a quick stop into trader joe's for some apples and nuts. standard occurance.

i always chat with my cashier to (hopefully!) brighten their day up a bit, and my lady yesterday was actually really friendly! she asked what i did last weekend, and i told her not a lot since i had the stomach flu.

she stopped and laughed, pointing out my first outing after the stomach flu was the grocery store, to which i very enthusiastically informed her i mean business when it comes to food!

then she said something that kinda offended me... she said she loves getting the stomach flu because she always loses 5 pounds. say what? since when is puking a good thing?

i thought about what she said the whole drive home (didn't the same thing happen in the devil wears prada, too?), and have continued to stew for the last 24 hours. i'm mad. and i've come to this conclusion:

we accept torture as a normal way to treat our bodies.

seriously, when did it become logical or healthy to get excited over starving/puking/dehydrating off 5 pounds? that's not normal: that's torture.

but we grow up accepting it takes drastic measures to be beautiful. anything goes to get to your goal weight. and everyone knows celebs starve to stay slim.

other ways we torture ourselves? living our whole lives feeling nowhere near thin enough. squeezing into too-small clothes because we we're fat and "deserve" the punishment. comparing our  beautiful, real bodies to fake photoshopped ones. letting others fat-talk and influence us negatively. focusing more on our cellulite than other people.

how sad is it that i can relate to all of those!?! and i doubt i'm alone in that. since when did we start accepting this as a part of life? i think i heard the average girl starts dieting is age 8... WTF?!?

source.

a noteworthy side of torture most people miss? the flip-side of acceptance.

anytime we don't respect our bodies, i'd call it torture. the main way we disrespect ourselves, i believe, is through our emotions.

but we can disrespect our bodies by neglecting them, too. sometimes we can get so caught up in rah-rah operation beautiful girl power that we forget to safeguard our health.

i'm a huge fan of self-acceptance and operation beautiful, obviously, but i am also incredibly passionate about living a healthy lifestyle. learning (and practicing!) nutrition and moving my body rocks my world! and it should rock yours, too.

and actually, i don't think you can say you are loving yourself if you don't take care of yourself. there. i said it! starving yourself to get to your goal weight clearly isn't self-love, but stuffing your face full of cake in celebration of your curves isn't either. 

am i making any sense? where did our last shred of peace with ourselves go? where is our healthy balance? and why do we keep accepting this as the way life is?

i don't really don't have much to say other than this: please, please, please start training yourself to identify disordered thoughts like these: all of them.

no, you are NOT as big as a house. no, feminism does NOT give you a free pass to obesity. no, you do NOT need to work out for the 8th day in a row. no, you should NOT skip your own birthday party to aviod the cake. no, stuffing your face because you accept your size is NOT healthy. and NO NO NO you should NOT be excited about the stomach flu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gahh! any thoughts?

-r

a little self-reflection, yes?

hello friends!
i hope your weekends were awesome in every way. i had an interesting weekend, to put it simply. learned a lot about myself, my thoughts, and what i want in life...

ever have one of those days where something just clicks? my weekend was full of those "aha!" moments.

noteworthy news:
the absolutely wonderful Medicinal Marzipan was kind enough to list me in her Body Loving Blogosphere weekly roundup. the other posts are incredible!

i also had the blessed opportunity to have lunch with Chuck Feerick, of Feerless Food. he was down in richmond for a triathalon (in the 100+ degree heat!!!) and was sweet enough to grab some food with me before his drive home at a cute little diner called Millie's.

while the atmosphere was fun, it was a little more crowded/noisy than i had anticipated. they were also out of almost half the items on the menu... not bueno for vegans :). all in all, we had great conversation, and he's a total doll. if you're interested in seeing exercise and food from a guy's perspective, hop on over to his awesome blog!

source.

today's thoughts: gum, and why we chew it.

i don't know about you guys, but up until very, very recently, i was a gum-chewing machine! yes, sugar-free gum and i spent many a day together, with all it's chemically, fake, poison-y goodness. i didn't go anywhere without a piece, and i could easily mowed through a whole pack in a weekend!

i kind of considered this my one vice... it wasn't a terrible habit, right? only when i started to notice it bothered my stomach did i ever even consider giving my up beloved gum.

since then, i've spent some time considering where this obsession came from. sure, it's not cocaine or anything, but an addiction is an addiction.

gum is one of those silly things we don't think about, but i am a firm believer that there is a reason behind everything we do. and i consider myself a strong person, so i didn't really like the control gum had over me. i seriously couldn't go a day without it!

so in a very christie-like manner, i just asked myself "why?"

i turned to gum for a few reasons:

1. emotion eating/food obsession: for the first time in my life, i wasn't eating constantly. i wouldn't just go grab something whenever i felt like it, but i still had the urge to. i hadn't dealt with all of my emotional reasons for needing food, so i still wanted to be chewing constantly.

why? because it was comforting! gum was a nearly calorie-free way to satisfy my food addiction... but satisfying that obsession wasn't the same thing as dealing with the problem.

i was addicted to food because i still thought eating, or the lack of it, would make me happy. my focus was in the wrong place - instead of pursuing things of worth (volunteering, friendships, God), i was too caught up in how "good" i could be (eating "healthy," getting skinny, being popular).

until i dealt with the emptiness inside, i was compelled to fill the space with food/chewing.

2. stress/loneliness: when i was really honest with myself, i chewed gum because i was worrying. i would get lost in my thoughts and fears about school, my major, my parents, losing weight, etc., and would turn to gum as a stress-reliever. once again - i wasn't dealing with the root problem. i was avoiding doing anything about my fears.

gum also distracted me from realizing i was lonely. i was working in the pool (isolated from the rest of the gym), going to community college with no friends, and dating a guy who worked long, random hours. the fibro was starting to limit what i could do, so i was getting out a lot less. the gum kept me "busy," so at least i didn't realize i wasn't really doing anything.

3. sugar: as you guys know, i'm hypoglycemic, so now i don't eat added sugars. when i was phasing-out sugar, naturally i craved sweetness, and sugar-free gum satisfied that need for me. i figured less sugar and no bingeing on desserts = success, when in reality, trading sugar for fake sugar = fail. don't get me wrong - i was moving in the right direction, just a bit misguided in my attempt.

source.

gum was my jam. it was my dirty little habit. it's taken a lot of practice and effort, but i can turn it down now and think about what my body really needs.

it's a scary thing to really get to the bottom of your actions, but it's worth looking into! there's no greater gift you can give yourself than understanding who you are.

will you do me (and yourself!) a favor?

please take a second and get real with yourself.

gum might not be your addiction, but make it personal: think about that food "you aren't safe around," or have no self-control with... i guarantee you it's not just because you really like the way it tastes. when we act compulsively and irrationally around a food, there is almost always a driving force behind it... be it emotions, memories, or guilt.

give yourself some time, keep thinking, and allow yourself the freedom to just be. you are absolutely worth the effort. treat yourself right, and get that monkey off your back! 

need some help getting started?
- i really can't recommend christie's blog enough, if you're looking to ask the hard questions. not only is she a sweet friend, but she's pure magic.
- looking for honesty? she's a bit on-again-off-again, but sui is a gem and says things how they really are.
- if you struggle a bit more than you'd like to admit (i've so been there!!!), lara's blog is a straight-up resourse for those of us who are no-nonsense.
- most important? find someone you can confide in. a loving, supportive person in your life is the greatest strength i've found.

what food challenges you? pulls at your compulsive side?
what "food habit" do you allow yourself?
-rebekah

blogger advice, and salsa.

recently, i've been thinking a lot about the influence and responsibility we carry have as bloggers.

with the ability to share our thoughts with all of kingdom-come does comes with a price. if you write something, more than likely, someone will read it. and if someone reads it, you have just influenced them in some way.

source.

and yes, i know this is your personal space. for some of us, it's our diary. we pour out our most private thoughts, desires, and fears. it's our place to let it all go; to find our release. it's therapy.

... and that's awesome. that's what a diary is for! i would much rather you vent your angers and frustrations here than drown your sorrows in tequila later.

don't get me wrong, either: i believe in free speech. i would never pretend to tell you what you can and cannot do. your blog is your prerogative.

but i can't ignore the seemingly flippant attitude that keeps popping up in my google reader.

source.

if you would consider your blog your diary, you pretty much get a free pass here. pass go and collect $200. you share your thoughts with your friends, and you don't expect anything more from it but companionship and stress-release: a perfectly good use of social networking.

but if you believe your opinion commands respect, authority, and action, watch yourself.

what caused this bunch in my britches? well honestly, i've kinda wanted to smack one of my (previously) favorite bloggers. and it takes a lot for me to get ticked off.

i feel no need to name names, but basically, this blogger recently seems to feel they are an expert in all areas... politics, supplements, veganism, you name it. and that's all fine and dandy, except for the fact that much of the information they post "as fact" is completely inaccurate.

i'm certainly not trying to toot my own horn, or say i'm better than this person. they're hilarious, always make me think, and have introduced me to many new products. they also have probably 293874293874 times more readers than i do. 

my problem is that this blogger hasn't researched the opinions they are passing on to their readers.

if this blogger prefaced their thoughts by saying something like "well, this is what's worked for me," or "in my opinion," i would get off their case. but far too often, i come across people who don't know what their talking about pushing their thoughts as facts that EVERYONE should follow.

sometimes, it's no big deal. but other times, it could really impact someone. for example: if you eat like crap, that's swell. i wish you wouldn't, but it's your life and your wallet, so you eat however you please.

but advising confused readers to exactly copy your habits, and then guaranteeing health and happiness, like i've seen a lot of recently? now i'm gettin' ticked. your choices are your own decisions, but misleading someone with inaccurate information is just downright shameful.

and my place in all this? here's the scoop: i'm 20 years old. i'm immature, haven't experienced all life has to offer, and don't pretend to know everything.

what i do on a daily basis works for me, but it certainly doesn't work for everyone. but what i post on my blog, i hold myself accountable to.

if i say something, you'd better believe i've put time and energy into it. i've researched it, thought about it, asked around, exhausted it, read about it, and just generally am incredibly passionate about it. not to say i'm never wrong, but if i am, it will be a GENUINE error on my part. and if i don't know the answer, i won't give you my thoughts until i do. period.

there's a difference between posting your feelings/thoughts on something, and telling other people to believe something as fact

if you blog with a purpose, whether it's product reviews, nutritional advice, animal rights awareness, etc., you are directly influencing others and the way they think. even if someone doesn't agree with you, what you say will subconsciously stick with them.

what should you ALWAYS do when you read personal media/opinions?

1. think for yourself! you have a brain, use it!

2. don't doubt your intuition. if it seems wrong, it probably is.

3. research, research, research! never take something at face value.

4. consider the source: are they an authority on the matter? have a degree in it? years of life experience? a reputable source?

5. stand up for yourself: don't be afraid to challenge them, or double check their sources.

please know this: i want my blog to be a safe, encouraging place. if i can help it BY ANY MEANS, i will not post something irresponsibly. and always feel free to ASK ME ABOUT IT! i just wanted to warn you guys.

ok, rant over. i hold nothing personal against this blogger, seriously. it was just a recent example that came to mind showing you guys how dangerous blogging can be, if you aren't careful. just because someone says something confidently doesn't mean you can check your sense of reason at the door.

ah yes, thank you big brother.

now, on something a little happier.

like mexican food.

fresh, summery salsa recipe

adapted from simply recipes, of course.

- 2-3 medium tomatoes, about 1 1/2 lbs (i used cherry tomatoes from mom's organic garden!), diced

- 1/2 huge red onion, diced

- 3 or 4 jalapenos, seeded and diced

- 2 or 3 big handfuls of fresh corn (unfortunately, i only had frozen)

- 1 lime, zested and juiced (very important!)

- 1 big bunch fresh cilantro, chopped fine

- 1 small bunch fresh oregano, chopped fine

- big pinch salt, little pinch pepper

directions: combine. let rest in the fridge a few hours to meld flavors.

that was difficult, i know... now, the pictures:

have you ever read someothing you knew was inaccurate on a blog?

what did you do?

what kinds of information do you post about?

-rebekah

don't let this be you.

i don't think i've ever been so offended in my whole life.

today i was minding my own business, reading an article linked from a news site.

i pulled up the window, and this ad was displayed at the top:

it was from Esquire Magazine.

um... why does no one call this like it is?

seriously? when is gang rape ok in advertising?

as someone who has been in a sexually abusive situation, this makes me SO angry.

i want to punch the people responsible in the face. there is nothing sexy about this.

look at her face - does she look happy to you?

heck no. even if she did, still. it's wrong.

this is so, so disgusting. i will never, ever buy D&G.

thoughts?

-rebekah

i'm speechless. sorta.

um, can i just say how absofreakinlutely amazing you all are?

ok, thanks, i think i will...

YOU GUYS ARE INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

source

the comments and emails i have gotten over the last few days have blown me away. i would say i'm speechless, but who am i kidding? i always have someting to say :)

i am so crazy blessed, thankful, and honored to have you all in my life.

if i may, i would call you friends. and as friends, y'all should know that my world is a brighter and more exciting place because you're in it.

a few shoutouts?

BaconGrease - um, hello local male! who knew a guy would put up with my rants? bless you! (any other guys out there? introduce yourselves!)

my faithful encouragers - you guys know who you are. you have cheered me on since i started the baby blog, much to my delight! you make my world go round, and i am honored to have you as a daily part of my life!

my health warriors - mo, carolyn, Peace Be Me, and so many others... you guys are my inspiration! although i wish you didn't have to bear that pain, the peace i have from knowing someone else understands is crazy comforting. you guys are my angels!

my sisters in Christ - i don't even have words to thank you for the blessing you are. y'all help me cast my cares on Him everyday, and i can't thank you enough for that. please never stop sharing His love!

family/friends - thank you all dearly for humoring me... Tanya, Connie, Mom, Mrs. Kowalik, and my facebook buds, you are my daily inspiration! y'all are an invaluable part of my life. you contribute to all my successes, and Lord knows you're my source of wisdom (it sure doesn't come from me!).

and everyone else who reads - you rock! seriously, thank you for taking the time to hear me out. by landing here, you help me accomplish my passion - generating as much good body-image and self-love as possible. but don't be a stranger! i'd love to hear from you.

source

now that i've put that out there, i'm off to spend the day smiling like a total goober.

who keeps you going in life?
where does your encouragement/inspiration come from?
-rebekah

ouch.

today, i went to the local YMCA to swim laps.

"but rebekah," you say, "that's nothing special. that's your weekly deal."

ah yes, but today was a bit more, um, traumatic than usual.

walking back to the pool, i overheard a front desk employee screeching at some man for not swiping in properly. she probably shouted "excuseee meeeeeeee sirrrrrrrrrrr!!!" about 100,000 times, at the top of her squeeky, yankee little pipes. (no offense, northerners!)

you know how when you're at the store, and some kid yells "hey mom!," and everyone who's not a mom knida tunes it out? totally did that.

... until i realized she was talking to me. i was the sir.

after the excruciatingly long walk of shame back to the desk with everyone staring at me, i was more than embarrassed. and the whole time, she was chewing me out for "ignoring" her.

"what, do you think you're so special you don't need to swipe in? are you deaf? do you not respect people enough to respond when they speak to you?"

yeah, she went there.

and it took said yankee woman until i was at arms length to realize that i am, in fact, quite female.

you can check my bra tags to prove it.

yep, i'm a woman. since i was born. shocking.

but instead of apologizing for not only calling me a man, but also chewing me out for her mistake, she pretty much announced to the lobby, "oh, you looked so masculine with that hair i didn't notice you were female!"

then, after seeing my absolute horror, had the stones to try to counteract with a "well, you're much too pretty up close to be a man. nevermind."

well then, i guess i should be flattered. how shallow of me.

the point?

i totally felt ugly after this. like King Kong scary. and still kinda feel butch, actually.

the whole time i was swimming, i was so self-conscious. like, maybe someone else in the pool heard her, and was sizing me up.

maybe i am kinda manly-looking.

the sad thing is, i am normally the picture of confidence! i write huge posts on body image, for crying out loud! i am woman, hear me roar!

but this knocked the socks off me. the yankee beat me today.

lesson learned?

i should have brushed it off as her ignorance. clearly, she wasn't too socially refined.

and this is when i should have reminded myself how much i love my body.

i am fearfully and wonderfully made, God tells me, and i believe that! i am a living, breathing miracle!

so girls, guard yourselves from body negativity! you are beautiful treasures, to me and to God. don't ever let someone cause you to doubt how freakin' gorgeous you are, inside and out.

if you don't believe it now, you can't protect yourself from attacks later. guard your hearts!

.....................................................................................

have you been shaken up mentally like that?
how did you respond?
do you believe you are beautiful?
-rebekah

lemonade from lemons.

oh, you shoulda known this was gonna be a whopper from the title.

but i have you now! bwahahaha.

i'm gonna get real personal here, y'all. the last week? has SUCKED.

i mean MAJOR suckage. like, abominably sucky. mind-blowingly sucky.

this bad:

catch my drift?

i was trying to think how i could allude to the suckage without just lettin' it all hang out (britney pun intended), but i decided to just be transparent with you guys.

in the last week, i have:

- gotten a virus

- had fibro pain bad enough for me to take vicodin (I HATE MEDS)

- broke up with my boyfriend

- popped my knee doing yoga

- wanted to tear out my stomach from ibs

yikes! yeah, it's been a crazy last few days.

as an update, i am almost 100% recovered from the virus (thanks for your kind words!). the fibro pain's pretty much the same, but mentally i'm handling it much better. my knee is a bit sore, but ok, and my stomach is still shaky, but not as, um... miserable, as it was.

... i don't want to go into the situation with my boyfriend too much, but basically, i can't blame him for not wanting to stick around.

fibro has completely changed my life - i can't really get out a lot, and when i do, i'm exhausted really quick. no longer can i plan my day by what i want to do, but what i have to do that i can manage. it just is a challenge all around, and as a completely healthy 27-yr-old guy, i totally see why this was overwhelming.

still, i'm crushed. he's been my only support this year, other than my amazing mom (hi mom!). when he gave up on me, it made me wonder if anyone will stick with me through this.

ok, ok, i'll leave britney aloneeeeeeeeeeeeee!

the point in this pity party?

what, you thought i just wanted to vent? would i do that?

for real - if i've learned anything at all this last year, i've learned that nothing, NOTHING, NOTHING, is pointless.

every hard thing we go through, everything we don't understand, everything that hurts... it's something we go through for our own good.

God uses the pain in our lives to grow us. think about it... if life was all sunshine and rainbows, why would we ever change?

none of us purposely choose something harder than what we had before. if life is good, we like it to stay that way! 

however, the challenge is exactly what we need to show us - we need change!

i used to hate God for letting bad things happen to good people. it just didn't seem fair! but then i realized... God wasn't responsible for the bad things that happened.

bad things happen because, well, that's life! life is hard. but i kept missing the lesson there... God was patiently waiting for me to turn to Him. to let Him pick up the pieces.

ok rebekah, point here? we will mess up. we will get discouraged. bad things will happen.

but life is bigger than that.

i cannot describe what it feels like to be simultaneously terrified, yet peaceful. all i know is that my whole life, i've felt so... empty. i had this dark cloud over my head that just made me want to give up on everything. i just couldn't shake the question, "does any of this actually matter?!?"

and after dropping out of school, losing all my friends, being diagnosed with an uncurable disease, breaking up with my boyfriend, being sexually abused, and watching my parents fall apart, i asked that question a lot, trust me.

sometimes, we have to have everything stripped away before we will ask ourselves the hard questions. and i did. i've spent the last two years crying out to God for answers.

and i finally understand now. i had to share with you guys...! i have a purpose. God has a plan for me.

it's bigger than my parents' broken relationship, it's bigger than my lonliness, it's bigger than my physical pain. it's bigger than me.

life isn't about how i feel or what i don't have, but what i am given, and what i can do with that. God has given me so much more than i have lost... beautiful things i wouldn't have noticed before the hard things happened.

but what am i given?

i wouldn't trade my story for anything. life means something to me now.

i have a new appreciation for my mom, and how incredibly faithful she is.

i realize i am amazing because of who i am, not because a man approves.

i now know how strong i am. after all this, nothing scares me! i can overcome anything with God's strength.

i've had the opportunity to blog, and from that, have been blessed with more beautiful girls in my life than i deserve. you guys are my passion!

and for the first time EVER, i have peace. rest. satisfaction.

what will i do with that?

i 100% believe that i am a miracle. God saved me from terrible things, mostly myself.

because of that, i have passion for things i didn't see before: i cannot sit still when i am around someone who's hurting. i have a passion for nutrition because it heals. i live to show people hope.

and all this, i owe to the challenges in life.

the real challenge isn't necessarily what happens to you, but letting yourself believe in the good that comes from it.

so the last week? no big.

- rebekah

.....................................................................

how do you handle challenges?

what hard lesson has changed you?

P.S. - anyone up for some free Turtle Mountain So Delicious coconut milk?!?

how about a GlassDharma straw?!?

sniffle sniffle.

well, it finally happened.

no amount of knockin'-on-wood, finger-crossing, hand-washing, or earnest prayers could keep me from not getting sick for more than 6 months.

yes, i consider myself very lucky to have avoided a cold for that long. 

a bonus of being unemployed and on medical leave, yes? 

and yet, here i am, curled up like a giant, coughing fetus on the sofa, surrounded by a sea of Food Network magazines, cups of lukewarm water, and cartons of Fage.

Trader Joe's fig bars in Fage.

i saw stars.

the upsides of this situation?

1. i discovered Trader Joe's makes their own version of FIG NEWTONS!!!!!!!! if you have managed up escape hearing about my obsession for this long, count your blessings. they're my kryptonite.

2. i now have yet another reason to lay around all day in my pjs with no shame. which leads me to the purpose of this garbage post...

ASK ME ANYTHING!

i'm definitely not cool enough for formspring, so is there anything you guys want to know about me?

dirty secrets? tips or tricks? favorite foods? the name on my other passport?

... oh wait. ok, anything other than that.

ask your worst!

-rebekah