my thoughts: make-up.

hey all. happy weekend! and thank you so much for your awesome thoughts on make-up!

some comments that really stood out to me:

Dana's honesty about the fact that we DO get treated differently all dolled up, but true confidence comes from within. amen sister!

Ayla totally owning that she IS pretty without it, and wishes it hadn't been invented because of how it's impacted us.

Katie asking herself if she feels acceptable without it... ohh that got me thinkin, girl.

Hedda pointing out that we can RELAX and be ourselves without it, seeing who are real friends are. so, so true!

Mo stating she feels wearing make-up is expected, so we do. interesting!

and many, many others! thanks again, everyone, for your incredible input!

my thoughts:

i've gotta go get ready to meet someone for tea, so this is a quick-fire version of my thoughts, uncensored. you've been warned!

personally, i've struggled with feeling physically unacceptable for most of my life, and make-up definitely played a part. i have chronic rosacea that for years left my skin blotchy, red, inflamed, and burning. when i looked in the mirror, it was all i saw! people would ask my if i had just been running, or if i was embarrassed. i hated my skin, so when i got old enough, i accepted that i was doomed to cover it for the rest of my life to feel pretty. this was probably around age 15.

since then, i've learned a few things about managing rosacea, but more importantly, i've learned about myself. quitting dairy and processed foods has made a huge difference in the blotchiness, but that's really quite minor in my eyes. in the last few years, i started digging deeper into why i felt the need to cover myself with a mask - why wasn't i acceptable without it, red skin and all?

i know plenty of my issues stemmed from dating a guy who wouldn't hang out with me unless i was in full make-up (yes, he was a keeper... NOT). but really, i wouldn't have listened to him unless i had already believed he was right. honestly, i agreed with him - showing my "flaw" to the world must not have been ok, so i hid behind a layer of foundation day in, day out... even in my dorm room!

the truth is, we all have flaws. it's called being a HUMAN BEING. and our "flaws" are what make us different. i know it's cheesy and we hear it all the time, but do you really believe it? really? and honestly, who was to say that their skin without rosacea was any more acceptable that mine with it? did it make me any less of a person? i think not (you could sub acne here, if that's your struggle).

once i realized that i was just as valuable, flaws and all, i started to relax. i realized that without make-up, you could see who i really was... and shockingly, i was alright! i have some pretty unique navy blue eyes, hair with a mind of it's own, and albino-white skin with a smattering of freckles. when i donned the daily mask, all these things were lost... and consequently, my identity was, too.

does this mean i think make-up is evil? surely not. i still enjoy swiping some mascara on my blonde eyelashes and feeling dramatic and flirty. i still use some shimmer powder to minimize the fibro/fatigue look from my eyes because, well, i get tired of looking tired. and i certainly don't think perfume is evil.

i guess i had to learn what make-up stood for in my eyes. i HAD to own that i was beautiful, unique, and acceptable without it before i could truly benefit from wearing it. and for the love of chocolate, i will beat up any guy who tries to tell another girl to just "put some make-up on." how about i just put my fist in your stomach???

in my opinion, some red flags to watch out for:

- do you feel less beautiful without it?

- do you feel there are situations you have to wear it?

- are you self-conscious without it?

- can you not go to the store, on a date, or in public without it?

- can you take a compliment when you don't wear it?

- are you not "yourself" without your face on?

- do you think other people/men will judge you or dismiss you without it?

if so, you may want to dig a little deeper. what's behind these feelings, and what can you do about it?

just my thoughts... agree/disagree?
-r

pride comes before a fall.

hey guys! i'm gonna keep nagging gently reminding y'all of my giveaway to win a $45 giftcard to CSN! enter before wednesday, september 15th at midnight to win sweet stuff!

and p.s. - i am absolutely thrilled to see all the new-to-me faces that entered! thank you so much for stopping by, and i can't wait to catch up on all your blogs!

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so i woke up this morning with a dull sense of dread. not because it was 3:00am (yeah, my body goes there quite often), but because i would need to eat again.

wait... what?

yes, those words came from my mouth. my mouth! yes, i'm still the same old rebekah who thought that i was doing wonderfully with my body like ten seconds ago, i promise. and yes, apparently i still have more issues hanging around than i realized.

maybe i should get this shirt.

source.

on a more serious note, though, for years i just let my emotions run away from me. i never stoped myself to figure out what was really wrong and why i was really struggling with food. i truly believed i must not have been strong enough to be skinny and never associated emotional stress with my eating habits.

instead, i absorbed every bit of knowledge i could from diet books, fashion magazines, and health articles. thank god that didn't last long! it took me a whole lot of blood, sweat, and tears to realize that my insecurities weren't about my body, but about my life!

i've felt (nearly) totally freed from the "diet mentality" for a while now, so i was a bit taken back to feel myself... dreading eating???

source.

during my run, i realized i was subconsciously still holding to some old baggage:

1. my new eating habits sorta scare me. eating to appease a testy fibromyalgia-y stomach is like trying to feed a colicky newborn: i eat all day long. while i know this is what my new body needs (hence this week's post about eating enough), to a chick who's had a few run-ins with binge eating, eating like this kinda can look "like a binge." i didn't realize i even still had that fear of binging, but i guess a few really hungry days was enough to bring those old feelings to the surface.

just to clarify, i haven't felt the need to emotionally eat in years, but i guess i still haven't gotten over the fear of possibility... follow me?

2. new schedule means packing and thinking about food A LOT. since i've been sick, i've basically been home all day. i've eaten when i was hungry and didn't really have to worry about packing it up, getting enough, or fitting in to a schedule. with school, all that changed. suddenly i had to plan my meals, and i think the sudden attention to how much food i actually eat in a day kinda freaked the old "diet rebekah" out. stupid, but true.

3. i break every get-slim-diet-trick daily. i eat almost entirely from the dreaded food group: carbs (*GASP*). i don't eat any of the recommended bikini diet foods: grilled chicken, egg whites, greek yogurt, nut butters, or protein shakes. half my diet consists of simple sugars: fruit. i eat about 50 times a day, don't drink water before meals, don't chew gum, don't distract myself from my hunger, and always eat after 7 pm. a lot.

do i know this is best for me? of course! would i change it? probably not. but that doesn't mean that every once in a while, i still don't wonder if i'm the crazy one. i mean, i'm crazy, but am i being food-stupid? i know the answer is no, but still, i'm not emotionally invincible.

so am i totally over my fears yet?

probably not. i am, however, very grateful for the body i do have, and am at peace with the lifestyle it takes to get this body out of bed each day. i know what makes me feel my best, and i also know my weight is fine! but this is all head knowledge. the heart is a touchier subject!

i see this as a life-long process for me, and at 21, it seems i still have a bit of growing up to do :)

thoughts?
struggles of your own you're working on?
-rebekah

to whom it may concern...

sweet friends - don't forget to enter my super-easy-to-win giveaway to CSN Stores! it's a free $45, for cryin' out loud! comment before midnight on september 15th, and good luck!

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dear anonymous -

first of all, i wish you had left your name when you commented. this blog is a place where we embrace ourselves, and i don't like it when anyone feels they can't be who they are. not cool. but that's neither here nore there.

secondly, i want to thank you. no, seriously! you brought to mind an issue i've been struggling with, an important lesson that by god's grace i've accepted over the last year or two: the importance of not judging others. 

when you commented on my weight, did you realize how that would crush me? although i am proud of who i am, i'm still human and vulnerable to criticism. did you stop and think about that before you pressed submit?

you mentioned how i looked "before i lost of bunch of weight..." did you know i lost that weight because i was bedridden? that i slept 20 hours a day and just got up to pee? that i had to call my mom to carry me down the stairs? i didn't crash-diet, i was in a medicated coma. not shockingly, food wasn't too appealing. it took energy, and i didn't have any. simple as that.

if you had been in contact with me over the last few years, you would have know that i've desperately struggled with my body. praise God that improving body image is now one of my biggest passions. and i still struggle with eating enough and exercising to this day. i still am so grateful for each mile i can walk, because there was a time i couldn't walk any. did you know that?

all questions aside, that's not what i'm thanking you for. i appreciate your comment because it brought to light a realization i've had since i got sick that's worth mentioning: who am i to judge anyone because of their body?

source.

when i see someone walking down the street, the only thing i know about them is their appearance. how on earth do i think i have any business commenting on what they look like, when i don't know them? i hate to admit i used to gossip mercilessly about anyone i deemed too fat, dressed too slutty, or wore too much makeup.

the second i opened my smart mouth, all i accomplished was showering my pride, arrogance, and hate on everyone around me. i thought i was better than this person because in my mind, i wasn't "too" anything (although i did hate my own body, but that's another story). how it shames me to even admit that! sadly, it took me years before i could face my own shortcomings, realize God is the only true Judge, and in turn accept we all struggle, we all have flaws, and we all have a story behind them.

that critically obese person at the store? they are an incredible gift of God. who knows what they are struggling with in their own life? people have no more or less worth because of their weight, and if i truly cared about their health, i would pray for their lives and heart instead of mocking their body. that trashy-looking girl at the movies? who knows what she's been through? what does she deal with on a daily basis that i've only seen in movies? if i really cared, i would hug her instead of condemn her. that girl whose bones jut out from her skin? after the weight struggles i've gone through, if anyone loves this girl, it should be me. how dare i make her as the butt of my jokes, when i've been that girl! i could be the one voice she needs to keep believing there's hope in life, and each time i criticize her, i confirm her worst fears.

there's been a huge focus on self-love over the last few weeks, and i'm thrilled! before you can help others, you certainly must deal with yourself.

but sometimes, i think it's easy to forget the power in our words. it's not just about fat-talk, although that's a pretty big deal. more than that, though, we need to deal with what doesn't happen when we judge - love. when we choose to criticize someone, not only do we reenforce our own negativity, but we sever any chance we had to positively impact that person, and that might have been the only kind word they got for quite some time. 

next time we're tempted to judge, let's own up to the fact it probably comes from our own insecurities. how about we stop and consider what they're going through first, or compliment them instead? we have millions of opportunities to impact lives for the better - why not take them?

so anonymous, thanks for bringing that up, and thanks for reconfirming what i already knew to be true - because i am wonderfully made, i treat my body right. because i treat my body right, i accept what i see in the mirror. because i accept what i see, what you see doesn't threaten me. i know who i am and the victory that my life is. do you, anonymous?

are you aware of how your words impact others?

what can we do to build others up instead of tear them apart?

- rebekah

ask me anything, and a body image week ramble.

mornin' sunshines! today is a crazy-full day for me, so i am typing at warp speed right now... forgive my certain typos (i just wrote typeos - case in point).

sidenote: apparently the last few days i've been struggling with google images to get good pictures for the blog, so certainly unrelated, but kinda funny/true/thought-provoking at the same time:

source.

two quick thoughts for today:

1. thank you, thank you, thank you to all the amazing voices who chimed in on my little animal-free series over the last week or so, but also, thanks to all who read! you guys are seriously my joy in writing.

but seriously, though - this isn't a one-sided blog. i want to be a research buddy, a source of encouragement, and someone to bounce thoughts off of... no matter what you eat!

i really appreciate the folks who commented something different than i wrote, or added something i missed. my dear friend christie's comment on yesterday's vegan misconceptions post reminded me that i still i want to write much more about approaching nutrition in general, not just animal-products, so stay tuned for that (and a post on iron absorption!). if you have anything you're curious about or want to hear my thoughts on, please comment or shoot me an email! there seriously is no such thing as a stupid or pointless question.

2. september 5-12th is national body image and eating disorders awareness week (BIEDAW) in australia. to all my australian friends (and everyone else!), i hope you realize how incredibly beautiful your life is! i seriously couldn't be more in awe of how incredible the human body is - in every size, race, and gender. amazing.

because of this, i've been thinking about body image a lot. this is a bit of a ramble, but here's some of my uncensored thoughts:

i guess i've felt that god has mostly healed me from my negative thoughts in the last few months, so i haven't posted a lot on body image. i should change that, now that i think about it... but anyways, in celebration of body image and ed week, i want to update y'all on this new phase in my story: the victory we can find in knowing numbers AND not caring.

i've written about my body image struggles before, so i am sensitive about posting weight/calories/pant size/etc. you aren't me, are you? so why would my weight effect your health? it's too easy to judge and get fixated on details that aren't important in life and can lead to destruction.

if you follow me on twitter, you might have caught a glimpse of my excitement yesterday:

@bekahraenels:
To all the girls who think you have to starve to stay in shape, DON'T! i prob ate 3,000+ cals and my pants STILL FIT! You are beautiful TODAY

about 13 hours ago via txt
my point? when you embrace nourishing your body for health, what that looks like to others might seem strange.
 
do i eat like a man? yes. am i the strongest i've ever been in my life? yes! how? I EAT GOOD FOOD WHEN I'M HUNGRY. i don't get emotional if my "i-haven't-broken-the-calorie-counting-habit-completely-yet" brain says WOAH YOU JUST ATE 1,000 CALORIES IN ONE SITTING. because you know what? i needed them! and i feel great after eating them! 
 
it's an incredible moment when you can acknowledge reality about life, how it applies to you, and accept it peacefully. i've been testing that in my diet over the last few weeks, and it was a huge victory to discover how many calories i was eating and SMILE because i didn't care. i've just accepted my new, healthier, active, incredibly strong body needs a lot of food. want a number? between 2,500 and 3,500 calories.
 
i wasted years jumping through all the "right" hoops to manage my weight: i never ate fried foods. i denied myself incredible desserts at parties. i counted calories. i didn't eat at night. i exercised up to 2 hours a day, 6 times a week. i ate my fruits and veggies. i read nutrition labels like it was my MCAT.
 
none of that was effective at anything other than making me miserable. in my heart, i never felt adequate. sadly, it took an uncurable disease before i realized i can be happy with life the way it is RIGHT NOW because that's all i have.
 
i'm not scared to post those calories because my life proves starvation is NOT the only way! please reexamine that logic... your body deserves so much more! also, i love throwing people for a loop, and it totally tickles me to death that it's not kosher to like your body and be a girl... but you know what? I LOVE THIS BODY.
 
you heard right folks. shockingly, my body is ok today, and it was ok yesterday, and it will be tomorrow too. and yeah, it's still ok if i eat cake.
 
GASP. i said it. sue me.
 
god's been teaching me that peace with myself spills over in other areas of my life, too. i go to bed at 9-something pm every night, didn't party on my 21st birthday and don't drink, don't like dessert, and my mom is my best friend. i love moving my body and am thrilled with how god's given me the strength after weeks of being confined to my bed. and the most increible gift? after years of trying to find my worth in getting guys' attention, i'm perfectly content being single and living life one day at a time.
 
so yeah, here i am world. i'm 21, right-handed, can fit in kids' clothes, have bloodshot eyes and a smart mouth, and a fiery temper that blows up in ethics class. but that's neither here nor there. what's imporant is i could have written anything and been equally satisfied. woah nelly, and praise god. 
 
life is miraculous: don't miss living because of details.
 
if you're australian, how will you participate?
if you aren't, what do you embrace about your body?
-rebekah

working out effectively: part two.

hey guys - long time no see!

i feel like i am slowly being restored these last few days (all credit to god!). it's been a long week of blood, sweat, and tears, but it's amazing how much he's healed me since my disasterous late teens - i'm (mostly) stable now. even in the middle of heart break, i know there is peace and a PURPOSE for this.

anyways, i gotta get boogie-ing on down to school here soon, but i wanted to bang out this thought real quick before my runner's high wears off.

this morning, i realized how different my perspective is on a "good workout." i used to get so frustrated by not being fast enough, not logging enough miles, being out of shape, my shorts pinching my stomach, my shoes not fitting... you get the picture. i had this standard of how you SHOULD exercise, and i was certainly not living up to it.

i thought frustration was just a necessary part of being "healthy" (at the time, that meant skinny), but my body wasn't the problem - it was my expectations.

my tip, if you want to call it that, on how to love moving your body?

tackle one challenge at a time.

get new shoes? ok, your goal is to just get comfortable.

just start walking after a few years break? sweet. make it your goal to just DO IT.

coming back from an injury/illness? just move pain-free.

going through a major life change? enjoy some free exercise therapy!

see what i'm saying? i used to give up on working out because i thought i had to be fast AND efficient AND skinny AND committed AND loving every step AND a morning person... yada yada.

taking one step at a time allows you to focus and be encouraged about what you actually can accomplish! it also helps you track your progress, because you can easily tell how you're feeling in that area. take your time - you are worth it! it's not a race, right?

the best things i've ever done for my workouts?

- leave my watch/garmin/heart rate monitor at home. i am not a performance athlete, why do i care about time? my body certainly doesn't.

- stop counting my miles. don't get me wrong, accomplishing a goal is a good thing, but please don't tell yourself you have to do that everyday.

- stop comparing myself to other exercisers and their habits. it's my LIFEstyle, not a test of committment or a popularity contest.

- do what you LOVE. if you hate running, don't do it! do cycling, tennis, aerobics classes, volleyball, etc. instead. life is way too short to be stuck doing something you hate just to check working out off the to-do list. i highly doubt you'll get to the end of your life and regret not getting on the elliptical more when you despised it.

- just be YOU. i promise you will be so much happier with yourself if you just do what YOU feel comfortable with, and nothing more. there's no exercise judge. this isn't american idol - just feel good that you did an amazing thing for your body today!

i'm sure you guys have many helpful thoughts on the matter: what would you like to change about your exercise mentality, what expectations do you have of yourself, and what have you learned that's helped you accept your own exercise habits?
-rebekah

how to work out effectively.

hey there friday people! how is everyone?

this weekend's going to be a little busy for me - lunch at whole foods today with mom and my little sister for her birthday (she'll be 19! i'm so old!), then going shopping for her "back to school" clothes.

tomorrow i'm making her birthday request: a gluten-free, cookies and cream ice cream cake. wish me luck! and her birthday dinner is that night.

sunday i have church and lunch with the girls in the family and a few friends, then i'll probably collapse!

you guys doing anything fun?

source.

ok, so today i want to explain how to plan efficient gym workouts.

we all know we need some strength training in our life. it strengthens our bones, prevents injuries, and tones our bodies (bonus!). it also keeps us young and makes us better runners/swimmers/yogis.

but i hear all the time "i don't know how to lift weights!" or "it takes way too long!," and i understand why you feel that way! the gym can be intimidating and a huge time-suck if you let it.

so we need a game plan.

y'all, honestly, i hate to be at the gym for more than an hour. i think it's pointless, boring, and who has time for that? so i plan my workouts to be quick and dirty, fast and efficient. i get more done in my speedy session that i used to in hours!

how? keep it simple.

i'm not a doctor, but my advice? no one needs to spend hours wandering around using every single machine! we aren't bodybuilders - just regular people trying to be healthy and strong.

source.

things to remember:

1. focus on technique and effort -
this is the most important part. as someone who worked in the gym and dated a personal trainer, i can't stress this enough! and i don't mean to be rude, but if you aren't willing to commit to doing it right, please don't do it at all. irresponsible, incorrect form can cause injuries that take years to get over.

the positive side of taking your time? you don't have to lift huge weights to see results. the best progress will come from you taking your time, focusing on what you're doing, and giving your best effort on every single rep. slow down and get it right the first time!

if you're a member of a gym, i would highly recommend asking a trainer or staff member to watch your technique from time to time. don't be intimidated - they want you to be safe, and you look way less clueless that way.

2. engage your entire body -

this is how you get in and out quick! it's like multitasking for your body: the more muscles you engage at a time, the quicker you tone up. start incorporating exercises that use multiple muscle groups at once, like lunges, planks, and lateral raises.

i know the circuit machines are convenient and less scary, but you don't go to the gym to sit down! get up off your hiney and hit the free weight section - you don't get a toned body from a workout in an easy chair. it's not the "guy's area," it's just where the weights are... but notice: mostly guys use it, and mostly the guys are toned... hmm.

new to weights/need the basics explained? try this workout! 

3. learn to love supersets!
this is what changed my body composition the most! a superset is when you do strength exercises back-to-back, instead of doing a set, resting, then doing another set.

for example, i usually do a pattern like this: a set of arm exercises, a set of ab exercises, and a set of leg exercises. as soon as i finish the arm exercises, i go right into the abs with no rest, then right into the legs with no rest. after legs, i'll grab some water and chill for 30 seconds or so, then i go right back into the arms. see? a superset!

the benefit? it keeps my heart rate up, my muscles warm, and is lightning fast! you sneak some heart-strengthening cardio into your weight routine, pump up your muscles, and you're done in no time. and if you're like me, you need something where you don't get *yawn* bored.

my workout schedule?

i'll be honest - i don't spend a lot of time working out. i love being active, but i just don't have the energy for it like i used to. so you can imagine how surprised i was when my body began transforming to the strongest and healthiest i've ever been... as i did less and less!

i'm not saying you should be lazy. hear me out - being active is a huge priority in my life. i used to believe i had to do hours of cardio to fit in my jeans, and i definitely over-trained. these days, i'm committed and consistent, but please realize you don't need to slave away at the treadmill to be fit.

my week almost always consists of 2 weight workouts, 1 cardio interval workout, 1 endurance workout, and a yoga day. that's it! i warm up and cool down a few minutes before and after weights, my intervals are a 30-min treadmill deal, and my endurance workout is usually a long pool swim. i do yoga for a few minutes most days a week because it feels good, but i also try to dedicate one weekly workout to yoga to challenge myself.

source.

the bottom line?

you DO NOT need to do cardio endlessly. it doesn't really build muscle or boost your metabolism. what your body needs is to be challenged, then rested. if you want to change your body and how you feel, hit up those weights, ladies and gentlemen!

a workout can only be effective if you're consistent and actually enjoy doing it. and no, you don't need to workout every single day! that's ridiculous. you get the most results when you let your body rest and rebuild! don't pack so much exercise into your life that you hate doing it and give up. this isn't a race - it's a lifestyle for your health!

have any workout tips to share? favorite exercises? stories?
-rebekah

no such thing as a free lunch...

hey friends!

um... can i give a quick shoutout to all the awesome responses on monday's body torture post?

i hate how natural it is for self-hate to slip out. but let's do what we can to stop it, ok? i don't want our daughters and sons to grow up thinking they need to beat their bodies into submission to wear a size 2/8/12/20 or run 10 miles. deal?

i'm a tired puppy today - i did a swim workout this morning with a friend, who just so happens to be training for a half-ironman triathalon!

i probably should have considered that fact before the workout, but i am so proud i did it! he kicked my butt! don't feel too bad for me, though - he's pretty darn sexy :)

ahem. movin' right along!

i have a feeling some people might not like my thoughts today.

you know those diet articles that tell you the few, measly calories you're allowed, then list the "free food" you can have in addition? the food that doesn't count or doesn't matter?

there is no such thing as a free food.

i know it sucks, but you can't eat endless amounts of anything. no, seriously - nothing.

i don't care what you've read, what calorie count you know, or what your friend did to lose 10 pounds. it's not healthy, and it doesn't solve anything.

thinking you can eat something "free" causes problems. there are usually two reasons we rely on a guilt-free food: we're dieting and emotionally eating.

diets suck, first of all... but that's another post.

look, sometimes we do crazy things to lose weight... like believing we can eat without consequence. this would be great, except there's no such thing as a calorie-free food. other than water.

there are plenty of foods naturally low in calories like carrots, melon, raspberries, etc, but these things do have calories. when we think something is "free," we tend to go all out and pack away a fair amount... which kinda defeats the purpose of low-calorie, right?

let's just make one thing clear: gnawing on celery or sugar-free jello isn't going to give you an awesome bikini body. and don't even get me started on those no-cal noodles!

you're just going to be unsatisfied, still hungry, and move on to something else. probably a lot of somethings. and all those little bites you keep taking of "free food" along the way will just add up and keep you farther from your goals.

do you just feel like eating?

sometimes, we aren't hungry, but we still want a little something. we just need to be munching.

we feel like we've eaten enough already, so we search for consequence-free snacks. we want them on our tongue, but not our hips.

the problem? we aren't dealing with why we're munching. until we ask ourselves the hard questions, we won't be able to conquer the snack habit (like my gum chewing addiction).

we eat for all sorts of reasons: boredom, stress, loneliness, sadness... but there isn't enough food in the world to fix those problems. you have to deal with the heart before you can stay out of the kitchen. and no amount of grapes can do that for you.

whether you're trying to lose weight or try to cope, don't deprive yourself.

source.

if you're toning up (or anytime!), eating real, natural foods is the way to go. you don't need diet food - you deserve healthy food! eat a snack that will satisfy you and encourage you to stick with your new, healthier lifestyle.

if you're emotional, put the snack down and let yourself deal. haven't you been carrying that burden long enough? how many carrots/cookies will it take before you're ready?

something else to consider:

i am definitely a believer that food brings quality of life. what would a day be without a juicy, ripe apple, or a piece of dark chocolate?

but everything you eat should matter to you. it's super easy to tack on something here or there and not even notice you're eating it, but why do that? if you don't love it or it doesn't do something for your health, do you really want to mindlessly consume it?

source.

do you mindlessly...:

- dump creamer in your coffee?

- snack on fruit all day long?

- take bites off other peoples' plates?

- pop breath mints?

- eat in front of the computer?

- grab a few handfuls from the candy bowl?

for example, it totally took me by surprise to learn just how much creamer i actually used to use! for as much as i dumped in, i could have had a bowl of ben & jerry's. i didn't even notice the creamer! after i saw that, i felt cheated, wanted some ben & jerry's, and switched to drinking coffee black.

if creamer rocks your boat, then by all means, keep it up! just own up to it.

it frustrates me so much when people say they can't lose weight or barely eat anything, but they totally overlook their daily starbucks habit or the cookies they gobbled at the office copier. if those things make you happy, then do them, but most of us do them without realizing it... and we don't really even like them that much. think when you eat! 

let's get real.

source.

it's just a snack, i know, but when i can't turn on the TV or walk in the grocery store without being attacked by all this diet crap, i get frustrated.

if it's calorie-free, what's the point? food has calories for a reason - it gives us energy and delivers vital nutrients to our bodies. no-cal food is just... chemically-infused air. it does nothing for you except support a bad habit and a bad body-image.

i deserve good food, darn it! and you do, too. let's stop focusing on what we shouldn't be eating and start focusing on what we really want - healthy, strong bodies and happy, long lives. don't they require healthy fuel?

your thoughts?

-rebekah

just say no.

i'm pretty wound up, so if i seem tense... i am!

last night i made a quick stop into trader joe's for some apples and nuts. standard occurance.

i always chat with my cashier to (hopefully!) brighten their day up a bit, and my lady yesterday was actually really friendly! she asked what i did last weekend, and i told her not a lot since i had the stomach flu.

she stopped and laughed, pointing out my first outing after the stomach flu was the grocery store, to which i very enthusiastically informed her i mean business when it comes to food!

then she said something that kinda offended me... she said she loves getting the stomach flu because she always loses 5 pounds. say what? since when is puking a good thing?

i thought about what she said the whole drive home (didn't the same thing happen in the devil wears prada, too?), and have continued to stew for the last 24 hours. i'm mad. and i've come to this conclusion:

we accept torture as a normal way to treat our bodies.

seriously, when did it become logical or healthy to get excited over starving/puking/dehydrating off 5 pounds? that's not normal: that's torture.

but we grow up accepting it takes drastic measures to be beautiful. anything goes to get to your goal weight. and everyone knows celebs starve to stay slim.

other ways we torture ourselves? living our whole lives feeling nowhere near thin enough. squeezing into too-small clothes because we we're fat and "deserve" the punishment. comparing our  beautiful, real bodies to fake photoshopped ones. letting others fat-talk and influence us negatively. focusing more on our cellulite than other people.

how sad is it that i can relate to all of those!?! and i doubt i'm alone in that. since when did we start accepting this as a part of life? i think i heard the average girl starts dieting is age 8... WTF?!?

source.

a noteworthy side of torture most people miss? the flip-side of acceptance.

anytime we don't respect our bodies, i'd call it torture. the main way we disrespect ourselves, i believe, is through our emotions.

but we can disrespect our bodies by neglecting them, too. sometimes we can get so caught up in rah-rah operation beautiful girl power that we forget to safeguard our health.

i'm a huge fan of self-acceptance and operation beautiful, obviously, but i am also incredibly passionate about living a healthy lifestyle. learning (and practicing!) nutrition and moving my body rocks my world! and it should rock yours, too.

and actually, i don't think you can say you are loving yourself if you don't take care of yourself. there. i said it! starving yourself to get to your goal weight clearly isn't self-love, but stuffing your face full of cake in celebration of your curves isn't either. 

am i making any sense? where did our last shred of peace with ourselves go? where is our healthy balance? and why do we keep accepting this as the way life is?

i don't really don't have much to say other than this: please, please, please start training yourself to identify disordered thoughts like these: all of them.

no, you are NOT as big as a house. no, feminism does NOT give you a free pass to obesity. no, you do NOT need to work out for the 8th day in a row. no, you should NOT skip your own birthday party to aviod the cake. no, stuffing your face because you accept your size is NOT healthy. and NO NO NO you should NOT be excited about the stomach flu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gahh! any thoughts?

-r

lessons in matrimony.

happy saturday, bloggies!

well, i survived the end of the week! after thinking for 3 days i was going through animal-free detox symptoms, i realized, in fact... i had the stomach flu. duh.

but the upside is if you're considering going vegan, don't let my silliness fool you! you'll be fine, and i do plan on writing a post about that soon :)

source.

also, i think i was a mostly successful bridesmaid yesterday (didn't trip walking down the isle!), but absolutely bawled my eyes out watching my freshman roommate get hitched. she was absolutely gorgeous - i'll snag some of pictures and post a few when she gets back from the honeymoon!

the reception was beautiful, too. outside and it didn't rain! i did realize something, though, that i thought was worth sharing. inspiration in the most unlikely of places, yes?

here's the deal - i was one of the only single people attending over the age of 10. and i think the 10-year-old had a girlfriend, actually.

a few years ago (ok, maybe more recently than that!), i would have been all kinds of embarrassed! i mean honestly, what's worse than being at a wedding by yourself, single, and not knowing a soul? weddings can be bad enough anyways.... i'm just sayin'.

picture this: i walk into the reception, all dolled up, put on my best smile, and gave positive, open body language. i'm not exactly an ogre, and i certainly have people skills... yet almost no one talked to me.

the younger me would definitely have taken this personally: am i not pretty enough to attract attention? do i look disinterested? am i not friendly enough? why does no one like me?

it might be glaringly obvious to you, but until recently, i was completely unaware i lacked confidence. you see, i thought i was a confident person! i had friends, i played sports, i even had a boyfriend most of my younger years! i thought i was doin' ok in that area.

but confidence is not how you respond to others. it's being at peace with who you are.

when other people were around, i could fake a smile, crack a joke, and dish out the compliments. but when i was alone, i couldn't hide that i hated myself. i hated my body, my skin, my dorky personality, my strict christian background, my clothes, my grades, my voice... yada yada yada.

i thought i gave off "happy vibes," but i couldn't shortcut self-love. until i was ready to cut the crap and embrace who i was, no one else could break down that barrier around my heart.

it's obviously much easier said than done - in today's world, we're pretty much taught from birth we're not good enough... because you can't be pretty without photoshop, botox, and gucci, right?

but at some point, you'll start to realize how empty false exteriors are. you can have the most expensive clothes ever made, but if you aren't at peace with the body underneath them, they're just pieces of fabric.

i could preach until i die that you are beautifully unique, but you've already heard that 109830843 times. instead, i want you do dig down and look at yourself - the most pure, naked, honest you. what do you love about yourself? what are you proud of? what makes you who you are?

make peace with those things. they are you. get to know your truly awesome self!

and the things you don't like? well, let's work on those. we are people in progress, and no one is judging you for not being 100% together at the ripe, old age of 25. it's not like they're perfect either!

the truth is, we all have issues. i don't think i'd be very comfortable around someone who didn't! but what impression do you want people to remember you for - that you hate your thighs, or that you have the most beautiful smile? that you're uncomfortable with your laugh, or that you're absolutely hilarious? if you focus on the things you love, others will be drawn to those things.

the battle here is won or lost in our own minds. if we dwell on the negative, we totally shut down our ability to shine. no one has the opportunity to experience who we really are, and that's a shame!

so last night, i met new people. i rocked my 4-inch-tall bridesmaid heels. i laughed at the ridiculously terrible toasts. i shamelessly flirted with bride's older brother (also single!).

what i didn't do? question why i was single. feel embarrassed. second-guess myself. think i wasn't good enough.

because i know who i am. i know my strengths and weaknesses. i know my purpose.

if you love yourself, you wouldn't treat yourself any other way. so going solo to a wedding? no big thing.

what are you confident about?
what could you love about yourself more?
-rebekah

is comparing yourself to others a good thing?

hey hey buddies. it's tuesday, jess!

i had a bombtastic day today. i acted like a blob all morning, read a little, went out to lunch with christie from honoring health (again! love her!), and knocked out a killer strength training workout.

yep. all in a days work :)

just a quick thought for you all tonight... i was reading some older posts from two awesome blogs and came across posts about how many calories they consume.

usually, i'm not really into other people's diets, but that day it struck a chord with me. i guess i was blown away by how active these girls are, and how little calories they actually ate (compared to me).

my first reaction was intrigue. they are both so healthy, and their diets really seem flawless! i'm amazed at their endless creativity and dedication to health.

... but then, i started internalizing. you know, comparing myself.

i started thinking about how beautiful and active these girls are, and how i move so much less, but eat so much more! it blew my mind.

i wouldn't say it made me uncomfortable, but i definitely had a few moments of uncertainty. how could this be? am i eating the right amount? am i overeating? 

i quickly came to a shocking conclusion: i am not either of them.

brilliant, i know. the important fact i lost sight of was that we are all unique. what's good for me may not be good for you, or anyone else for that matter. we are individuals, and we require different things to feel and look our best.

i know what i normally eat, and if i was to eat less, i would definitely lose weight that i don't want to lose. if someone else ate like me, however, they might gain or lose weight. or just feel like crap. or be bored. or not think i have very good tastes in snacks. whatever.

it was eye-opening, to say the least. i realized even when i think that i've conquered a weak area, i can always be taken off guard! i'm not immune to insecurity, that's for sure.

so i decided to do my own "day of food" post.

this is not meant to encourage more comparison. please, don't look at me as the standard. i'm quite the opposite, actually.

it's meant to be a declaration of self-acceptance: i am rebekah. this is what i eat, and i'm totally ok with that.

let's get started, shall we?

5:05am - must. drink. water. now.

5:31am - oatmeal time! oatmeal time! oatmeal time!

in the mix: chocolate chia tahini oats. yum.

6:00am - decaf coffee (and assume i am pounding water the rest of the day from here out)

9:20am - post-run recover smoothie (recycled picture, i ate too quick!)

in the mix: hemp protein, hemp milk, banana, strawberries, blueberries, + spinach

p.s. - you can tell it's finally daylight! lol.

11:40am - leftover amaranth savory pancakes

mix it up! try substituting leftover cooked grains in your next pancake recipe. blend them up a bit in the food processor first if you like a smoother texture.

+ snow peas and copious amounts of (unpictured) carrots

intermission: i just had to show you guys this shelf on our freezer.

i love my little brother! he's 16... can you tell?

1:30pm - gala apple + almonds + rooibos tea

second intermission: look at my mom's cute plants!

2:06pm - second snack. because apparently the first one wasn't enough.

(on a book up for review - coming soon!)

4:07pm - dinner, part one.

mom's homemade whole wheat bread + homemade hummus

5:15pm - leftover baked potato + homemade 3-bean chili

... where are my leafy greens today???

taa-daa! y'all sleepin' yet?

who cares what everyone else does? you are really quite lovely just how you are.

i want you to look at your body and what you eat, and promise not to judge yourselves, either. deal?

-rebekah

makin' the chop: why i cut my hair.

hey doodle-bugs! hope your weeks are kickin' off right.

i've been quite productive today, actually. got a great run in this morning, worked in the kitchen a bit, and sorted through my closet to see what i have to wear "back to school."

yes, i am five. where's my pocket protector, and which bus do i ride?

oh, and p.s. - last night, i had the ingenius revelation to make my fresh salsa in the food processor. it usually takes about 30 minutes chopping by hand, and last night it took... five. i'm kicking myself.

- - - WARNING: REALLY RIDICULOUS PICTURES AHEAD - - -

i thought i'd address something i get questions about all the time: my hair.

all through high school, i had super looooong, curly hair halfway down my back. it was my signature. it was larger than life, resided in it's own zip code, and possessed a distinct personality.

i was hyper-insecure about my body, but was convinced i could hide behind my hair. i felt safe wearing it as my mask: at least if i hated everything else about myself, my hair was bangin'. every compliment i ever got was about my curls. 

so why did i cut it all off? good question.

why i chopped off my hair, and what i learned from it.

honestly? i cut my hair because i was ready for a change. a big one.

i had just broken up with my high school sweetheart, lived in a new town, started at a new college, and was making new friends. i wasn't the same girl as i was in high school, for better or worse, and i was ready to show it.

so the inches came off. at first, i was absolutely terrified. no longer could i hide my body (not that hair is an effective veil anyways)... what you saw was what you got. no BS.

for a while, i felt ugly, loathed it, regretted it, and then i realized - this is who i'm meant to be.

i'm not a diva, and i don't do high-maintanence. the long barbie hair was not my personality, not at all. and no offense to those with long, beautiful hair (gorgeous!), but honestly, every girl you see has long hair. they all look the same. shake it up a bit, ya know?

the surprise? cutting my hair was my "tipping point." i realized i had been pretending to be someone else for far too long. i dressed, spoke, and acted how i thought others expected me to, and couldn't ever just be myself! after that hair appointment, i decided i would never put myself through that again.

what started as a simple trim turned into what i so desperately need: a kick-start towards self-acceptance.

i've sinced realized many things about myself; some scary, and some thrilling. i'm not a girly girl. i don't like wearing a lot of make-up. i actually have pretty nice eyelashes. my body is just fine, without the curly veil. i'm not ugly. shockingly, i can run. i like tattoos, and can't wait to get more. i have muscles and curves. i'm constantly amazed by my body's changes.

and i'm proud of it. all of it. those things make me unique, and i wouldn't have uncovered any of them if i hadn't decided to just. be. me.

i love who i am, short hair and all. do you?

what "body security blanket" are you holding on to?

what's unique you love about yourself?

-rebekah