my guest post: the history behind the girl.

happy sunday, y'all.

thank you so much to all the beautiful souls who commented or emailed me yesterday about wanting to do a guest post!

you can email me at anytime, and i will post your story sometime the next week. deal?
p.s. - you don't have to have a blog to do a guest post!

as promised, below is my guest post from Dana's blog, Happiness is Within. i reposted it here for you guys, but please check out Dana's incredibly inspiring blog as well.

i am always honest and open with you guys, but this post is a little deeper look at how i got to be the person i am today. it's a little graphic and shocking, but so am i, ya know? for you guys, i'll let it all hang out. i hope you enjoy.
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Hey guys! My name is Rebekah, the crazy lady behind Clarity in Creation. I am so honored that Dana asked me to do a guest post! Isn’t she incredible?

in all my glory, eh?

Body image is something I know we are both so passionate about, but like Dana, I haven’t always felt this way. If you’ve stopped by my humble blog before, you know I am painfully honest about my past struggles with food, depression, and self-image. Here’s a little history behind those struggles, and how I ended up where I am today!

I am incredibly blessed to have grown up with a mom who thinks the world of me, and has told my sisters and I we are beautiful almost every day of our lives. Naturally, I saw no reason to believe otherwise… until a fateful day in middle school. That day, I was so thoughtfully informed that I was “different,” which I took as “something was wrong with me.” I had grown up pretty sheltered, and wasn’t really aware of how I was “different,” so I spent the rest of my childhood questioning myself, doubting my best efforts, and just generally feeling ugly.

During high school, I dated a sweet, Christian guy and learned, yet again, what it felt like to be loved unconditionally. During this time, my self-esteem slowly rebounded. Alas, it was not in the stars for us, and I left him bitter and resentful. All the positive things he helped me learn were soon forgotten, and replaced by the desperate need for something totally new. I guess I figured if he and I didn’t work, maybe the polar opposite would?

Well, the polar opposite ended up being a cold, distant jerk, who certainly taught me new things – like how I could never be pretty, thin, or smart enough to make him happy. A far cry from what my mom and first love taught me, right? Needless to say, I was at a crisis of belief. I wallowed in denial, embarrassment, and self-pity, eventually falling into a self-destructive pit so deep, it has taken me years to find my way out.

In addition to my new, bleak outlook on life, I was also struggling with my weight. You’re shocked, I know – a teenager, struggling with her weight? How rare! I had always been athletic, but stopped exercising once I started working, so I ended up packing on more than a few pounds. I was not happy, to say the least, and mentally logged this as one more way I was “different.” Not only was my love-life out of control, but felt I couldn’t even keep the number on the scale from ballooning.

Life went on, and I discovered the gym, starvation diets, and a plethora of new addictions to distract myself with. I guess I thought if I was thinner, I would be happier, and maybe guys would overlook my “different-ness?” I got thinner, sure, but I also ended up depressed, with pretty disordered eating, and a handful of… unsavory habits to deal with. I was “different” then, for sure.

Since then, I’ve began to pick up the pieces. I’ve spent the last two or three years asking myself – who am I? No, really, who is the person deep inside of me? Not the person who is guilty for feeling hunger, or the one who feels ashamed for enjoying a lazy day, or the one who is embarrassed for having curves. Who is the girl I really am, without all the baggage?

It’s taken me countless tears, shameful mistakes, and painful self-evaluation, but I can proudly say today that the woman inside of me has emerged. I am free, despite the voices from my past that tried to destroy me. I am strong, unique, and beautiful, regardless of what anyone thinks! I know myself – I have a strong, shapely body, a fearless mind, and the heart that wants to take on any challenge that comes my way. When I look in the mirror, I see (most days) a warrior, a champion, and a conqueror, not a beaten-down shadow of what others have dismissed me to be.

I will never let a man (or another woman!) tell me I am not valuable, nor will I ever let anyone guilt me into changing my eating, exercising, or clothing lifestyle. I am an individual – that means I know myself better than anyone else. What works for me may not work for you, but that’s certainly not a reason for me (or you!) to be ashamed. Our features and quirks make us beautiful.

My challenge to you, stunning ladies, is to remind yourself everyday when you wake up “I am a miracle. I am perfectly made today, tomorrow, and forever. I will not be swayed.” If you honor yourself, others will follow. And you deserve that!

P.s. – to learn more about me, my struggles, or how to improve your body-image, please feel free to join me over at my little space of the internet!

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questions?
thoughts?
wanna do a guest post?
-rebekah