well, i survived the end of the week! after thinking for 3 days i was going through animal-free detox symptoms, i realized, in fact... i had the stomach flu. duh.
but the upside is if you're considering going vegan, don't let my silliness fool you! you'll be fine, and i do plan on writing a post about that soon :)
also, i think i was a mostly successful bridesmaid yesterday (didn't trip walking down the isle!), but absolutely bawled my eyes out watching my freshman roommate get hitched. she was absolutely gorgeous - i'll snag some of pictures and post a few when she gets back from the honeymoon!
the reception was beautiful, too. outside and it didn't rain! i did realize something, though, that i thought was worth sharing. inspiration in the most unlikely of places, yes?
here's the deal - i was one of the only single people attending over the age of 10. and i think the 10-year-old had a girlfriend, actually.
a few years ago (ok, maybe more recently than that!), i would have been all kinds of embarrassed! i mean honestly, what's worse than being at a wedding by yourself, single, and not knowing a soul? weddings can be bad enough anyways.... i'm just sayin'.
picture this: i walk into the reception, all dolled up, put on my best smile, and gave positive, open body language. i'm not exactly an ogre, and i certainly have people skills... yet almost no one talked to me.
the younger me would definitely have taken this personally: am i not pretty enough to attract attention? do i look disinterested? am i not friendly enough? why does no one like me?
it might be glaringly obvious to you, but until recently, i was completely unaware i lacked confidence. you see, i thought i was a confident person! i had friends, i played sports, i even had a boyfriend most of my younger years! i thought i was doin' ok in that area.
but confidence is not how you respond to others. it's being at peace with who you are.
when other people were around, i could fake a smile, crack a joke, and dish out the compliments. but when i was alone, i couldn't hide that i hated myself. i hated my body, my skin, my dorky personality, my strict christian background, my clothes, my grades, my voice... yada yada yada.
i thought i gave off "happy vibes," but i couldn't shortcut self-love. until i was ready to cut the crap and embrace who i was, no one else could break down that barrier around my heart.
it's obviously much easier said than done - in today's world, we're pretty much taught from birth we're not good enough... because you can't be pretty without photoshop, botox, and gucci, right?
but at some point, you'll start to realize how empty false exteriors are. you can have the most expensive clothes ever made, but if you aren't at peace with the body underneath them, they're just pieces of fabric.
i could preach until i die that you are beautifully unique, but you've already heard that 109830843 times. instead, i want you do dig down and look at yourself - the most pure, naked, honest you. what do you love about yourself? what are you proud of? what makes you who you are?
make peace with those things. they are you. get to know your truly awesome self!
and the things you don't like? well, let's work on those. we are people in progress, and no one is judging you for not being 100% together at the ripe, old age of 25. it's not like they're perfect either!
the truth is, we all have issues. i don't think i'd be very comfortable around someone who didn't! but what impression do you want people to remember you for - that you hate your thighs, or that you have the most beautiful smile? that you're uncomfortable with your laugh, or that you're absolutely hilarious? if you focus on the things you love, others will be drawn to those things.
the battle here is won or lost in our own minds. if we dwell on the negative, we totally shut down our ability to shine. no one has the opportunity to experience who we really are, and that's a shame!
so last night, i met new people. i rocked my 4-inch-tall bridesmaid heels. i laughed at the ridiculously terrible toasts. i shamelessly flirted with bride's older brother (also single!).
what i didn't do? question why i was single. feel embarrassed. second-guess myself. think i wasn't good enough.
because i know who i am. i know my strengths and weaknesses. i know my purpose.
if you love yourself, you wouldn't treat yourself any other way. so going solo to a wedding? no big thing.
what are you confident about?
what could you love about yourself more?