hey friends! i hope everyone is having a rockin' weekend. i got treated to lunch at the Whole Foods hot bar yesterday! definitely a highlight of my week.
so i'm finally sitting down to write something i've been avoiding for quite some time... and i don't like it one bit. as i've been alluding for the last month or so, my fibro is moving into a rather poopy place right now, and i've been struggling to accept that. i sleep most of the day, am having a hard time getting to classes, and just have no energy for anything. i'm not trying to whine - i'm really ok with it! it's frustrating, yes, but i'm learning to honor my body for what it is and praise God no matter what is happening physically.
not sure why, but i didn't take into account how draining the process of going back to school would be. in my mind, i think i'm still in denial about how limited i am - i'm 21 years old, for goodness sakes! but i forget that doesn't make me invincible :)
i also have had to own up to the fact that i'm completely wiped out emotionally. each day is an enormous spiritual and physical battle, and i'm struggling to handle it. i cry a lot, i wimp out daily, and i often forget how incredibly blessed i am. i'm realizing i need to allow myself to heal and just learn the lessons God is graciously teaching me - a skill i've never allowed myself to master in the past.
while i'm in this place, though, i don't have a lot to give to you guys... there's just nothing left! and you all deserve the absolute best and 100% of my attention. i won't settle with crappy posts and surface-y, feel-good discussions that don't challenge or encourage either of us!
the funny thing is, now that i'm sleeping all day instead of only 2 or 3 hours, i don't have the time to accomplish everything i want to... and one of those things is blogging. it absolutely breaks my heart because the connection i have with you all is one of the biggest blessings in my life. i seriously can't tell you how much you all mean to me! but right now, i have to get school done and help take care of my family first.
so please know, my heart is with you guys each and every second of the day. you all are constantly in my prayers and thoughts. i seriously wouldn't be who i am without your influence, guidance, and ceaseless encouragement, and i am incredibly thankful for that! i'm not sure how long i'll need to step away from blogging, but know that i absolutely love emailing you guys, and would be thrilled to hear from you - nelsonrr (at) mymail (dot) vcu (dot) edu. and i will try to stop by your blogs when i get the time, but know you guys are constantly on my heart. love y'all!
please keep in touch!