Jun 23, 2010


today, i went to the local YMCA to swim laps.

"but rebekah," you say, "that's nothing special. that's your weekly deal."

ah yes, but today was a bit more, um, traumatic than usual.

walking back to the pool, i overheard a front desk employee screeching at some man for not swiping in properly. she probably shouted "excuseee meeeeeeee sirrrrrrrrrrr!!!" about 100,000 times, at the top of her squeeky, yankee little pipes. (no offense, northerners!)

you know how when you're at the store, and some kid yells "hey mom!," and everyone who's not a mom knida tunes it out? totally did that.

... until i realized she was talking to me. i was the sir.

after the excruciatingly long walk of shame back to the desk with everyone staring at me, i was more than embarrassed. and the whole time, she was chewing me out for "ignoring" her.

"what, do you think you're so special you don't need to swipe in? are you deaf? do you not respect people enough to respond when they speak to you?"

yeah, she went there.

and it took said yankee woman until i was at arms length to realize that i am, in fact, quite female.

you can check my bra tags to prove it.

yep, i'm a woman. since i was born. shocking.

but instead of apologizing for not only calling me a man, but also chewing me out for her mistake, she pretty much announced to the lobby, "oh, you looked so masculine with that hair i didn't notice you were female!"

then, after seeing my absolute horror, had the stones to try to counteract with a "well, you're much too pretty up close to be a man. nevermind."

well then, i guess i should be flattered. how shallow of me.

the point?

i totally felt ugly after this. like King Kong scary. and still kinda feel butch, actually.

the whole time i was swimming, i was so self-conscious. like, maybe someone else in the pool heard her, and was sizing me up.

maybe i am kinda manly-looking.

the sad thing is, i am normally the picture of confidence! i write huge posts on body image, for crying out loud! i am woman, hear me roar!

but this knocked the socks off me. the yankee beat me today.

lesson learned?

i should have brushed it off as her ignorance. clearly, she wasn't too socially refined.

and this is when i should have reminded myself how much i love my body.

i am fearfully and wonderfully made, God tells me, and i believe that! i am a living, breathing miracle!

so girls, guard yourselves from body negativity! you are beautiful treasures, to me and to God. don't ever let someone cause you to doubt how freakin' gorgeous you are, inside and out.

if you don't believe it now, you can't protect yourself from attacks later. guard your hearts!


have you been shaken up mentally like that?
how did you respond?
do you believe you are beautiful?


  1. I laughed so hard at this! And then I felt bad...and then I got over that feeling and sent the link to co-workers.

    I love especially that you turn it around and focus on God and how He has made you! We serve such an awesome God but it's so easy to get distracted by the temporal.

    Thanks for the reminder!

  2. I will never be OK with how socially inept most people seem to be. I know that's judgemental, but whatever.

    My husband has longish hair and we've already heard, "Oooooohhhh...lesbians. That's hot."

    That kind of ignorance is offensive on so many levels.

  3. God that is brutal, funny in an embarrasing kind of way.

  4. i'd hate to get anyone in trouble but this is certainly worth sending off anonymously to the ymca dontcha think? stupid people like this need a wake up call to realize how rude they are and how they can so easily hurt others. i'm happy you were able to brush this off and see the good in things, but others might not be so fortunate.

  5. sounds like another test - life is full of them!

    your hair is ADORABLE, and it suits you so well. i miss my pixie cut - it was just too much to keep up with.

    i believe i am beautiful, not because of how i look, but because of who i am.


  6. Whoa mama! Hell yeah you are a woman and I can hear you roar :D People make can make mistakes like that, but I think it might've been magnified because she was so rude before. I don't know.. if I were that lady and someone couldn't hear me call them back I would walk up to them and politely ask them to swipe in.

    have you been shaken up mentally like that? Yeah I have been. It was done intentionally though and it was during a time when I lost my group of "best friends" and a lot of mutual friends. One of the mutual friends took a really low blow at me and it was tough because I felt like I was already standing alone since my friends basically turned their backs on me. But luckily I had the support of a new friend (who would later become my best friend) and my parents. I don't remember how I responded.. I think that I was hurt at first but I didn't respond to the person who made the cruel remark to me.

    For awhile it was hard to accept myself in my skin. But then I just realized that I'm young and I have nothing to be ashamed of. I am who I am. So yes, I believe I'm beautiful inside and out :)

  7. Ouch that hurts!! You are beautiful and I so wish I could pull off your hair style!! Ughh I always get told that I look ALOT younger than I am,my moms friend once told me I look 14..err i am only 21..I may be under 5 feet tall, and have some stellar ant hills..but it annoys me sometimes!(except of course when you can get a reduced price..or free because you look like a kid;])

  8. Umm this lady sucks! You are beautiful!! And don't forget it :)
    Also... that cat picture made me laugh =P

  9. WOW what a lesson this was, obviously someone or something up above wanted to test you. thats what i think of when situations so terrible liek this happen, its a test, test of ur strength and ur ability to practice everything youve learnt. in no means was what was said acceptable, but obviously this poor woman has so many issues going on in her life that she feels the need to treat people like she treated you. i dont blame you for quickly feeling judgemental of yourself, i mean, how triggering is that- to be called a dude! im sure the lady feels like shit about herself for what she said/did. but at the end of the day you must always check in with ur own strength and do your best to accept the truth that is that SHE was the one feeling terrible and decided to take it out on you because she percieved you to ignore her even tho you werent. it had nothing to do with you or your hair, but everything to do with how she felt about herself and how she percieved the situation.

    and just because i feel you should know, you are extremely beautiful! if i had my hair short im sure someone would easily call me a dude or sir from behind. but you are stunning, and radiant, and always remember that- keep your confidence and self-esteem in tact and never let it crumble over someone elses self reflections/thoughts.

    xoxo <3

  10. Man, that lady must have some serious grudge against life to be that sour. And I totally second what Kelsey said...it's always that people that are uncomfortable with themselves that end up being rude to others, not saying she was intentionally being rude. Sometimes it's fun to be overly nice to people like that, throws 'em for a loop ;)
    I would kill for your hair and looks, girl! You are gorgeous, don't forget it ;)

    I had a customer out of nowhere ask me if I ate the other day, Monday. I was so caught off guard that all I could really say was "do I EAT?! Uh, yeah..." To which she just said "Really? I don't think you do." My boss was even out there, too - and I took my lunch break shortly afterwards. He kinda laughed and said "oh, you mean you need to eat?" (not making light of eating disorders by any means - but given the fact I'm eating about every two hours, I think he found the whole ordeal pretty comical, lol)
    I was a little self conscious the rest of the day, even though I know my body and it lets me do the things I love most. Funny how people we don't even know can affect us within minutes, huh?

  11. There are so many nasty, rude people in this world. Perhaps she feels so unloved and ignored in her own life that your perceived snub just put her over the top. Or perhaps she is just a rude person. What we do know is that you are truly beautiful. You have been blessed with both outward beauty and inner beauty. Don't you think those movie stars and models look in the mirror at night and wish for smaller/larger butts, thinner/more curvy arms, thinner/more curvy legs, etc. We humans seem to be designed to want what we don't possess. We turn a blind eye to our own beauty and fixate on an attribute of someone else. But God designed our body as a perfect package suited to his plan. Just happens that your package is a lovely one. And you have been blessed with so many people who love you. Wish I was there to give you a BIG hug.

  12. Oh my god.... Wow. And yes. I work in an industry where in the same day Ive been told Im too skinny, too fat and just wrong. They talk about you like youre not there- its brutal. But it really sounds like that girl was ignorant, because youre gorgeous and you dont look like a guy, at all.
    Oh, and picking up my brother from work one time, whos two years younger (I was 18, he was 16, Ive obviously never fully recovered)- they yelled to the back 'your moms here!' What in the name of socially acceptable....


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