hey all. happy weekend! and thank you so much for your awesome thoughts on make-up!
some comments that really stood out to me:
Dana's honesty about the fact that we DO get treated differently all dolled up, but true confidence comes from within. amen sister!
Ayla totally owning that she IS pretty without it, and wishes it hadn't been invented because of how it's impacted us.
Katie asking herself if she feels acceptable without it... ohh that got me thinkin, girl.
Hedda pointing out that we can RELAX and be ourselves without it, seeing who are real friends are. so, so true!
Mo stating she feels wearing make-up is expected, so we do. interesting!
and many, many others! thanks again, everyone, for your incredible input!
i've gotta go get ready to meet someone for tea, so this is a quick-fire version of my thoughts, uncensored. you've been warned!
personally, i've struggled with feeling physically unacceptable for most of my life, and make-up definitely played a part. i have chronic rosacea that for years left my skin blotchy, red, inflamed, and burning. when i looked in the mirror, it was all i saw! people would ask my if i had just been running, or if i was embarrassed. i hated my skin, so when i got old enough, i accepted that i was doomed to cover it for the rest of my life to feel pretty. this was probably around age 15.
since then, i've learned a few things about managing rosacea, but more importantly, i've learned about myself. quitting dairy and processed foods has made a huge difference in the blotchiness, but that's really quite minor in my eyes. in the last few years, i started digging deeper into why i felt the need to cover myself with a mask - why wasn't i acceptable without it, red skin and all?
i know plenty of my issues stemmed from dating a guy who wouldn't hang out with me unless i was in full make-up (yes, he was a keeper... NOT). but really, i wouldn't have listened to him unless i had already believed he was right. honestly, i agreed with him - showing my "flaw" to the world must not have been ok, so i hid behind a layer of foundation day in, day out... even in my dorm room!
the truth is, we all have flaws. it's called being a HUMAN BEING. and our "flaws" are what make us different. i know it's cheesy and we hear it all the time, but do you really believe it? really? and honestly, who was to say that their skin without rosacea was any more acceptable that mine with it? did it make me any less of a person? i think not (you could sub acne here, if that's your struggle).
once i realized that i was just as valuable, flaws and all, i started to relax. i realized that without make-up, you could see who i really was... and shockingly, i was alright! i have some pretty unique navy blue eyes, hair with a mind of it's own, and albino-white skin with a smattering of freckles. when i donned the daily mask, all these things were lost... and consequently, my identity was, too.
does this mean i think make-up is evil? surely not. i still enjoy swiping some mascara on my blonde eyelashes and feeling dramatic and flirty. i still use some shimmer powder to minimize the fibro/fatigue look from my eyes because, well, i get tired of looking tired. and i certainly don't think perfume is evil.
i guess i had to learn what make-up stood for in my eyes. i HAD to own that i was beautiful, unique, and acceptable without it before i could truly benefit from wearing it. and for the love of chocolate, i will beat up any guy who tries to tell another girl to just "put some make-up on." how about i just put my fist in your stomach???
in my opinion, some red flags to watch out for:
- do you feel less beautiful without it?
- do you feel there are situations you have to wear it?
- are you self-conscious without it?
- can you not go to the store, on a date, or in public without it?
- can you take a compliment when you don't wear it?
- are you not "yourself" without your face on?
- do you think other people/men will judge you or dismiss you without it?
if so, you may want to dig a little deeper. what's behind these feelings, and what can you do about it?
just my thoughts... agree/disagree?