oy.

hey rebekah, don't you have a blog?

... oh yeah. oops.

source.

hey friends! long time no see.

although you may have been concerned i fell off the face of the earth (logical conclusion sarah-mae!), rest assured i did not. i didn't really have intentions of abandoning you, i swear. and i've been slowly working my way through my google reader! i think i'm in the 400s now... oy vey.

in the last few weeks, i've been blessed beyond what i ever could have imagined: i went back at school (finally!), got plugged in to a new church i absolutely adore, and have started making incredible new friends. i've studied for challenging classes, worked a church yard/bake sale (thanks for the suggestions!), and met girls for coffee. i've hiked riverside trails in the crisp, fall air. i've laughed, cried, and went on a fabulous lunch date with my mom and sister. and praise jesus, we finally got a new blender! my raw vegan heart rejoices.

really, i'm incredibly, amazingly thrilled with life. 

with exquisite beauty, however, there always comes unavoidable pain. for the last month or so, i've been up well before 4 a.m., struggled to keep food down, battled lonely, depressing days, limped from fibro pain, gotten runner's knee, and haven't ditched this stinkin' headache yet.

i'm still been facing some other pretty testy health issues, too. after going off the pill again, i'm still cycle-free (anyone have a solution to this?!?), and discovered i may not be the one lucky fibro patient without IBS... sigh/burp.

ok, so you're still with me? good. because of all these changes, i'm not really sure what the next few months will look like for me.

i'm kinda at a loss concerning the blog. over the summer, i had so many things i was dying to blog about: accepting our bodies, why i cut my hair, exercising efficiently, food labeling, and animal-free eating, to name a few.

i blogged on bad days, good days, and busy days. i couldn't wait to hop online and channel my passions into a post, hoping to encourage just one person to keep on keepin' on in their healthy lifestyle. but things change, and right now, i feel stuck.

i'm not the same person i was a year ago (phew!), and i'm not sure how the blog will follow that. after spending years researching nutrition and wellness and finally regaining positive body image (most days), i couldn't imagine blogging about much else! i actually still have a few post topics lined up when i'm ready to pull out more tidbits of trivia from this crazy brain of mine.

honestly? life is just different for me now. in case it hasn't been obvious in my posts, let me be transparent: i've sort of gone through a life overhaul in the last year or so. thankfully, i no longer waste my time on abusive relationships, distractions that numb emotional pain, or reckless friday nights "just because it's fun." i wish i could take credit for it, but everything really has been God working in me. seriously y'all, i'd be passed out in a drug-induced stupor in a ditch somewhere if it weren't for God's grace.

do i still love learning about health, exercise, food, and body image? you bet! but i guess my motives aren't in the same place. my priorities have changed.

now i'm rambling, and i don't know where i plan on taking the blog from here, but i do know this: anything i post i want to be straight from my heart to yours. i'm not as concerned with information anymore as i am concerned with people. this means my posts will be different, and i'm totally fine with that. if i post, i want to post on life: what God's been teaching me, lessons i've learned dealing with chronic illness, something that has cheered me up, recipes i've swooned over, and details from a body image workshop i'm taking at school.

i hope this doesn't alienate anyone. i love answering your questions and researching things with y'all more than anything, so shoot ideas/questions/comments for future posts my way!

y'all cool with that?

-rebekah