is comparing yourself to others a good thing?

hey hey buddies. it's tuesday, jess!

i had a bombtastic day today. i acted like a blob all morning, read a little, went out to lunch with christie from honoring health (again! love her!), and knocked out a killer strength training workout.

yep. all in a days work :)

just a quick thought for you all tonight... i was reading some older posts from two awesome blogs and came across posts about how many calories they consume.

usually, i'm not really into other people's diets, but that day it struck a chord with me. i guess i was blown away by how active these girls are, and how little calories they actually ate (compared to me).

my first reaction was intrigue. they are both so healthy, and their diets really seem flawless! i'm amazed at their endless creativity and dedication to health.

... but then, i started internalizing. you know, comparing myself.

i started thinking about how beautiful and active these girls are, and how i move so much less, but eat so much more! it blew my mind.

i wouldn't say it made me uncomfortable, but i definitely had a few moments of uncertainty. how could this be? am i eating the right amount? am i overeating? 

i quickly came to a shocking conclusion: i am not either of them.

brilliant, i know. the important fact i lost sight of was that we are all unique. what's good for me may not be good for you, or anyone else for that matter. we are individuals, and we require different things to feel and look our best.

i know what i normally eat, and if i was to eat less, i would definitely lose weight that i don't want to lose. if someone else ate like me, however, they might gain or lose weight. or just feel like crap. or be bored. or not think i have very good tastes in snacks. whatever.

it was eye-opening, to say the least. i realized even when i think that i've conquered a weak area, i can always be taken off guard! i'm not immune to insecurity, that's for sure.

so i decided to do my own "day of food" post.

this is not meant to encourage more comparison. please, don't look at me as the standard. i'm quite the opposite, actually.

it's meant to be a declaration of self-acceptance: i am rebekah. this is what i eat, and i'm totally ok with that.

let's get started, shall we?

5:05am - must. drink. water. now.

5:31am - oatmeal time! oatmeal time! oatmeal time!

in the mix: chocolate chia tahini oats. yum.

6:00am - decaf coffee (and assume i am pounding water the rest of the day from here out)

9:20am - post-run recover smoothie (recycled picture, i ate too quick!)

in the mix: hemp protein, hemp milk, banana, strawberries, blueberries, + spinach

p.s. - you can tell it's finally daylight! lol.

11:40am - leftover amaranth savory pancakes

mix it up! try substituting leftover cooked grains in your next pancake recipe. blend them up a bit in the food processor first if you like a smoother texture.

+ snow peas and copious amounts of (unpictured) carrots

intermission: i just had to show you guys this shelf on our freezer.

i love my little brother! he's 16... can you tell?

1:30pm - gala apple + almonds + rooibos tea

second intermission: look at my mom's cute plants!

2:06pm - second snack. because apparently the first one wasn't enough.

(on a book up for review - coming soon!)

4:07pm - dinner, part one.

mom's homemade whole wheat bread + homemade hummus

5:15pm - leftover baked potato + homemade 3-bean chili

... where are my leafy greens today???

taa-daa! y'all sleepin' yet?

who cares what everyone else does? you are really quite lovely just how you are.

i want you to look at your body and what you eat, and promise not to judge yourselves, either. deal?

-rebekah

a few recipes to share.

hey all! happy little friday :)
this morning i was thrilled to see a post from my girl hedda, nominating me with the beautiful blogger award!

well, let's see here... what are seven little-known facts about me?

1. although i'm not a big sweets person, i go crazy for deep, dark chocolate brownies. the chewiness gets me every time! gahhh i want some now. but if you even think about putting nuts in my brownies, i'll punch you in the face!

2. if i could live at the beach, i would up and move right.this.second. i am a beach girl for sure! nothing beats the breeze at the beach - it's pure, unadultured bliss. hammock, anyone?

3. i've traveled quite a bit, and plan to do much, much more. i've been to almost all 50 states, canada, mexico, and the virgin islands... i've seen the grand canyon and niagra falls, and i consider myself extremely lucky! on my dream list? australia, new zealand, and italy.

4. i've been in two near-death car accidents, and i know without a doubt that it is God's plan for me to live. my purpose is obviously not complete, although i've tried pretty hard to mess it up!

5. i swam competitively most of my life, and since i can't swim now due to a shoulder injury, i'm taking up my next vice - running. it's slowly growing on me.

6. i took spanish for 7 years in grade school. now, i use it to order burritos. score.

7. since this IS a food blog, my favorite foods? avocados, brazil nuts, caramel truffles, garlic, honey mustard, soft pretzels... ok, i just like to eat.

girl, you are too sweet! and now you guys know more about me than you signed up for!

.........................................................

ok, how about some food?

since i'm a healthy blogger who avoids sugar and all, what better recipe to post first than dorie greenspan's best chocolate chip cookies?

i actually own dorie's book baking: from my home to yours, which is where i got the recipe.

but kait from kait's plate has it posted online, if you get the baking bug :)

up next?

my mom absolutely loves horseradish, so i had been planning for a few days to make some hummus with it. seeing how i have kitchen ADD, i also got inspired to roast a head of garlic. 

... you thinkin' what i thought?

roasted garlic horseradish hummus

adapted from a combination of these two recipes and my brain

1 can sodium-free chickpeas, rinsed

1 spoonful tahini

2 spoonfuls horseradish

1 head roasted garlic

1 quick pour olive oil

1 huuuuuuuuge pinch freshly ground pepper (FRESH is key!)

juice from 1 small lime

1 spoon cumin

1 sprinkle red pepper flakes

1 tiny pinch salt

instructions? blend in food processor. feel proud because you "cooked."

and how about the best salad dressing i've ever had?

um, yeah. i know it's swamp green.

go with me here.

basil-orange vinaigrette 
adapted from sticky gooey creamy chewy
1 scallion, green and white parts
1 sprinkle red pepper flakes
2 cups fresh basil (from our herb garden!)
3 tablespoons natural orange juice
2 tablespoons rice vinegar
1 pinch salt
1 clove finely chopped garlic
1 pinch black pepper
1 pinch sugar
1 quick pour olive oil

instructions? blend in blender, and feel good about "cooking..." again!

........................................................
questions for ya:
1. random fact about yourself you'd care to share with the class?
2. are you an exact recipe follower or an "eyeball it" cook?

p.s. - up tomorrow?
i'm attempting to recreate the energy bar jess so wonderfully sent me (i die!), as well as make some homemade larabars so i don't go broke! foooooooooooooood.
- r

that's how i roll.

... like my sushi joke (hah hah??).

ahem.
moving on.

i am finally gettin' my groove back in the kitchen, y'all.
thank jesus.
after fighting with a highly irritable belly for a few months, let's just say inspiration in the kitchen has been... lacking.

what got my rear in gear?
last week, my boy took me to a little place across from his house because i was craving sushi like a raging pregnant woman (of which i am not. to clarify.).

we'd been there before, but i figured i should check out the menu again to see what looked good.
low and behold, they added a new roll to the otherwise standard menu - an avocado and mango roll.
my foodie heart leapt for joy!

it was surprisingly really flavorful, but i couldn't help thinking, "you know... i could do better."

... so, i did.

ugly but tasty homemade sushi.

- package of nori (i got ten sheets/servings at whole foods for $3.99)

- cooked sushi rice (instructions below)

- your choice of main fillings - i used laughing cow wedges, smoked salmon, mango, and avocado)

- thinly julienned vegetables

optional garnishes - sesame seeds, soy sauce, wasabi, pickled ginger

let's do this thing.

1. make your sushi rice.

there are plenty of credible websites that teach you how to make an authentic batch of sushi rice, but here's my completely unauthorized, unqualified version:

- cook rice with equal parts rice to water.

- take off the heat, stir in a pinch of sugar, a pinch of salt, and a splash of rice vinegar.

- let cool to room temperature.

2. while your rice is cooking, chop your fillings.

- because of previously stated craving, i used thinly sliced avocados and mangos for one, and laughing cow, salmon, carrots, and cukes for another i fed to my guinea pigs family and friends.

3. lay down a sheet of nori, sprinkle a layer of sushi rice (leaving an inch uncovered at the top and bottom), and line fillings towards top.

4. hold your breath and pray fervently to the sushi gods while you roll tightly.

5. wet your fingers and seal the edge WELL. wet a sharp knife and slice into 6 pieces, wetting between each slice.

6. top with sesame seeds and serve with soy sauce!

experience foodgasms.

consensus: score.

i'm not gonna lie, i can't really think of too many times recently when i didn't think i could do better after going out.

am i alone in this?

................................................................................................................

another motivation to get back into the kitchen?

my mom pestering me to make hummus for her.
again.
for the 10,000th time.

i kinda feel dumb calling this a recipe.

- 1 can chickpeas, drained and rinsed well

- scoop of nut or seed butter

- juice of 1 lemon (watch those pesky seeds!)

- 1 tbsp oil

- 2 or 3 cloves of garlic, minced

- spices of choice

1. combine first 5 ingredients in food processor, and pulse until smooth (or not. it's your life.). i used chunky peanut butter for my nut butter and sesame oil for my oil, fyi.

2. season according to taste. start with a teaspoon or two of each spice, and adjust as you go. i usually use black pepper, smoky paprika, chipotle chili powder, red pepper flakes, cumin, and onion powder.

consensus: i love it in paninis, on crackers, with carrots, on english muffins...

you guys know this.

i'm preaching to the choir.

.........................................................................................................

and p.s. - i'm finally going back to school!!!

i'll be at VCU this august for community health education, then specialize in culinary nutrition. 

after years of doctors' visits, countless blood tests, and a whole lotta tears, i'm finally moving forward again with my life.

it's been so frustrating to be home... not because i don't want to be here, but because i feel like it's just one more thing standing in between me and accomplishing my passions.

i have things to say, places to go, and people to eat with!

i know that this illness has, and will, serve a purpose in my life, and hopefully many others' lives as well.

i am actually incredibly thankful for it.

not that it's been pleasant, but because it has shown me how much i take things for granted, and after this, i will NEVER do that again.

i cannot thank god enough for giving me the strength to move on, my family for hugs when i need it, and you guys for support and encouragement!

-r

good times.

hey buddies - happy sunday to ya.
everyone have some good weekend time?

i finally got the baking bug again! someone's been inspiring me to get back into the kitchen and create... the point of my blog, yes?

i made heaven on a baking sheet.
no, seriously.
i made baking illustrated's thick and chewy triple-chocolate cookies for the men in my life, because i'm awesome like that.
and i have a 16 yr-old brother who would start gnawing my legs off if i didn't keep a steady flow of pizza and chocolate headed his way. add the boy's sweet tooth on top of that, and i'm in danger!

i snagged the recipe while drooling over browneyedbaker's food porn. if you've never perused her sinfully decadent recipe index, shame on you.
check out her top 10 cookies, and make your guys REALLY happy with you.
and keep your legs safe.

hubba hubba.

if i were a blogger with a brain, i would have taken a picture before they made it into the tupperware.

sigh.

these were the best of both worlds - chewy texture like a cookie, but an intense chocolate hit like a brownie. and i wonder why... they had over a POUND of chocolate in the recipe!!!!! holy crap.


after the chocolate orgy was resolved,
i was off to a dinner date to one of my favorite restaurants ever - ipanema cafe... the boy, he scored some points here. on top of asking me out to ipanema, he also greeted me with these:

i will repeat... MAJOR points.

why flowers? just because. i'm a BIT lucky.
(sidenote: the boy has put up with my shenanigans for about 8 months now... where does time go???)

as i said the other day, ipanema is an adorable little restaurant downtown near some other lovely ladies. located underground, nestled beside a tattoo shop, and across the street from a north african boutique, it carries it's own atmosphere, to say the least! the servers are all super friendly, the owner's usually hanging out, and the menu is awesome!

total foodie paradise.

when i was first trying to cut out some animal products, i had no idea what i was doing, and my server really helped me pick something to try. he basically let me create my own salad, and on top of that, it was HEAVENLY!

once again, if this blogger had a brain, i would have pictures of the inside and my dinner...
except as soon as they bring out the food, all thoughts of the blog leave me, and all thoughts turn to the belly! oops...
i got the hummus sandwich with oven-roasted tomatoes, sprouts, cukes, and garlic hummus on sourdough bread... food 'gasms, no?

hello stand-in. lookin' good!

it came with a side salad with the MOST DELICIOUS carrot-ginger dressing i've ever tasted... must recreate this! it also came with sweet potato fries.... i was in ecstasy. i'd marry those darn fries if i could.
the boy got the Miso and Mirin Glazed Salmon with wasabi potato cakes, chinese broccoli and apple slaw. also 'gasmic, i'll add.

i would definitely get both again!
miss katharina recommended the pies from here, too. i haven't had room for dessert yet, but next time you'd better believe i'm gonna try!


... annnnnndddd i was going to post the rest of my weekend, but my computer froze and now my pictures won't load.
anyone else ever have this problem?
i'll try again later today, but i just have to rant a little about something that happened this week.

thursday, i had a follow-up endocrinologist appointment. i've been in and out of their office for the last four years or so trying to figure out my freak-of-nature hormones. i'm gonna be open and honest with you guys, ok?
if you're a bit leary of tmi, i'll see you later at my next post :)

basically, i've never had a normal period. i didn't start until i was almost 17, i've never had a regular cycle, and they've put me on and off the pill for years to try to get my body to "figure it out." so here i am at almost 21, and STILL have no normal cycle. i actually haven't had a period in months... years if you don't count my issues on the pill.
cool, you say?
sorta.
i got diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) when i was 17, which isn't life-threatening or anything, but is pretty weird for someone like me (young, active, no family history, etc.). it also means i am predisposed for troubles getting pregnant, and am in danger of developing insulin resistance (remember my post earlier this week? it's from my heart. please treasure your bodies!).
i'm not nervous about it, but i would like to figure it out now while i'm young and don't have to deal with those problems yet... thus, the doc appointment.

i'm pretty upset, though,
not because of the PCOS, but because of how the doctor responded. i've been to a few different doctors about it, but this was my first time seeing this specific doc. he basically wanted to know everything about me (amazingly, he didn't fall asleep!!!), which was all well and good, until he asked me about my weight loss.
it's a pretty normal question for the doctor to ask, but he was totally shocked to hear that i've lost 50lbs since high school. i know it's dramatic, but i wasn't healthy before, and the weight certainly wasn't helping me, mentally or physically. it was lost over the course of 3 or 4 years, and i NEVER dieted. it was lost through exercise, learning nutrition, and overcoming emotional eating.

instead of seeing this as positive, or at least considering that it might have been for a good reason, the doctor immediately starting asking me if i was purging.
i know that it was a plausible question considering my health right now, but i couldn't help but get offended... i've worked SO hard all these years sweating my rear off on the treadmill, resisting all-you-can-eat dessert bars, and preaching nutrition, and now my doctor is doubting my credibility because i've lost the weight. he thinks i'm just depressed.
 i'm finally not overweight, exercising right, and eating a diet full of delicious food, and now i have to defend myself???

y'all, i'm not trying to criticize those with ED.
PLEASEEEEE don't get me wrong - i've definitely had disordered thoughts in high school (who hasn't??), so i know it's not like only crazies experience it. with the way people are now, i'm surprised some of you guys have come out unscathed! mad props.
i am totally heartbroken, however,
that my doctor doesn't believe anyone can lose weight healthfully and naturally anymore. and that he started to dismiss me because i'm not heavy, so i must self-induce vomitting. i've actually been really focusing on eating enough recently. i'm lifting weights again, so i want to feed these new muscles!!

so forgive me, but i just wanna shout:

my name is rebekah, and i believe in what real food can do for your body.

i will NEVER binge and purge because i believe god designed a perfect plan for our bodies to be healed and sustained through whole foods he made.

also, my body is sacred!

i will treat it like it deserves.

fibro might challenge it, but i will fight back with a gentle, healing hand.

I WILL NOT despair and short-change my health because of body-image.

I WILL stand strong, proud, and healthy as an example to those around me.

i love my body because it is my most precious gift.

have you guys ever experienced something like this?
am i just being dumb?
as someone who's struggled with her weight most of her life, this is a new experience for me.
i don't want to be offended because he was just trying to do his job, but what does this say about the body image and health of young girls now?!?
-r